The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna Session Nine

 

On the day of the Tournament of the Giantess Morwenna, Delgal Haberkorn the Student Wizard woke up early to exchange the ancient weapons the Lute Bastards found in the swamp with the archaeologists. The archaeologists' camp at the Iron Cup franchise was a day's travel to the southwest, but Delgal had a hunch that they had already relocated to the event venue for the Tournament.

Delgal's hike proved uneventful and his hunch proved right. Menmen and Glorietta were happy to receive the weapons and armor from the prehistoric zombies, especially the boar tusk helmet with the skull still inside. In exchange, Delgal chose a Cloak of Protection from the archaeologists' stash. He spotted a number of familiar and unfamiliar faces crowding the food stalls outside the stadium, where Houdini the Mummy had tossed an orb of diamond vision that projected images of enormous size. The preacher Big Eclipse, the Ettin and Houdini himself all made appearances, as well as a ten foot giantess and a human wizard waiting in line to buy snails and beer. As he left with his new cloak, he saw a Giant in the vestments of the God King's clergy approaching the stadium, accompanied by an entourage of half-giants.

Delgal made his way to the assigned start point for the Bastards, where he was joined by

• Aldrich Brisbane the Fighter
  
• Laguna Tempest the Mage
  
• Zigar Kneecapper the Thug
  
• Datura the Elf
• Grimm Dundragon the Ranger

And let's not forget their entourage

• The Stone Golems Rough and Tumble
• Ganga the Acrobat, Charmed by Laguna
  
• Two Owlbears, ensorceled by Grimm's ring of Control Animal
  

And their mercenaries

• The Giff artillerymen of The Cannon's Thunder
  
• Chelicera the Bard, beloved daughter of The Decapitator
• The Panzerbjorn and their three suits of necrotic tadigrade armor 
• Median the Yellow and his Killer Bees
• The Myconids and hooded killers of Black Mask
• The student wizards of Red Ball and their wands of Magic Missile
  

The group went over their plans and waited anxiously for the games to begin.

 

 

The way they set it up was: When battle was joined, they'd write Gorrister's name on the Curse Tablet and cause him to attack his allies uncontrollably. They'd send Median's bees to sting Robert the Bandit, chief of One Ear, to death. Aldrich, Grimm, Laguna and Delgal, supported by Ganga, Chelicera, the Owlbears and the Stone Golems would storm the ancient tomb at the center of the battlefield, the one they had to hold at the end of the day to win. Zigar Kneecapper, master of tactics and Datura the sharp-eyed favorite of Fat Sun, would lead the rest of the forces to protect the flank and assist with the battle for the control point.

There wasn't much more to say after that, until Houdini's voice boomed across the pampa through his magical amplifying microphone. He kept his introductions contained and gave the signal to begin fighting. Delgal wrote Gorrister's name on the curse tablet. Median's bees flew out of the hive. The armies marched out onto the plain. Zigar warned his troops to stay spread out and watch for stealthy infiltrators sneaking up on them. The ranged fighters deployed in a skirmish screen to pour devastating fire on the enemy once they came in range, with the close-combat specialists in reserve to fend off charges and exploit weaknesses in the enemy line.

 

Supported by the line troops, the storming party approached the objective: an ancient beehive tomb, exposed by erosion and crumbled away to a ring of tilted stone walls. Ganga went ahead to scout the position. She entered the tomb ahead of the group and the ground collapsed under her feet. The adventurers winced in sympathy, then cheered when the grinning Acrobat appeared atop the flagpole above the tomb, unharmed. A sniper's bullet tore through Morwenna's banner streaming from the top of the pole and Ganga dropped back out of sight. The storming party pushed forward and found that the room had been cored out like a donut, with a column of stone supporting the flagpole. The trap didn't catch anyone but that didn't mean they were safe. The Bastards took up defensive positions.

Footprints appeared in the grass. A group, approaching. The bastards readied their weapons. Hoborg the Elf broke Invisibility to Haste his party: Gorrister the Great, the Snakewoman Cleric Manus, the Elf Hoborg, the Satyr Polyhymnos, the Barbarian Wulf, and the Djinni Headwind in Whirlwind Form. Ganga didn't wait for her slow ass teammates to act. She grabbed the Wand of Haste off Delgal's quick belt and cast it on the Bastards, narrowly avoiding a painful alpha strike by the Brigands of All Nations. With everyone buffed and getting double actions, battle was joined.

Gorrister cast a Death Spell, catching Laguna and Delgal in the area of effect. Delgal was killed instantly, but Laguna's robe reflected the magic back into Gorrister. The Dragon-man tanked the effect without injury and leaped forward with his Boots of Striking and Springing, breaking Laguna's arm with a flick of his Falchion of Scraping. Grimm's bears rushed into the fray but were driven back with thrusts of Gorrister's Dagger of Punishment and Manus' scroll of Fireballs. Headwind battered the Bastards with a storm, Polyhymnos played his magic pipes to ensorcel the adventurers but was counterspelled by Chelicera playing her own music from the backline. Hoborg and Wulf advanced on Aldrich and cut him deep with a sequence of hammer blows. One bear went down in the fighting. Gorrister pressed the attack and Laguna cast Polymorph, transforming himself into a Hydra. The Hydra tore into Gorrister and nearly killed him, prompting him to lop off one of its heads and then quickly Teleport out using a scroll. The Stone Golems mangled Manus and Polyhymnos before they could escape, but Hoborg got away. Wulf also ran, but not before killing Aldrich with a flick of his greataxe.

 

The Bastards controlled the objective, but had lost their leader. Fortunately the field troops were in the capable hands of Zigar Kneecapper, Master of Tactics. Datura called out ranges for the Giff gunners, using her sharp eyes to guide their roundshot onto target. The demoralized Green Men of One Ear and the few surviving Brigands of All Nations couldn't press their attacks home, and their snipers couldn't pile enough damage on to win the ranged fight. The Panzerbjorn and the Black Masks struck home and crushed the pike blocks in a brutal melee. With no immediate opposition, the mercenaries reinforced the assault team at the tomb. Besides Aldrich and Delgal their own casualties had been manageable.

The Bastards and their hired guns spread out and dug in, expecting a last-minute play for the objective by Gorrister and his surviving lieutenants. An airborne attack aboard his horse Garl the Nightmare, softening up with area-of-effect scrolls before dropping in and securing the circle of stone just before the sun went down to win on a technicality.

The assault never came. The Bastards had won, at the cost of their leader.

Augusto Ferrer-Dalmau

Houdini announced the victory, then leisurely strolled out to congratulate the Bastards. Aldrich was dead, which meant they needed to either find a way to resurrect him or nominate a new leader to marry the Giantess. They had until tomorrow to do so. The intelligent sword Night Slasher commanded Datura to slay Houdini, who had a column of ogres, musketeers, combat scribes and war dogs backing him up. The Elf quickly removed her baldrick and tossed the sword away before it could possess her.

There were two ways to resurrect Aldrich: petition Big Eclipse for a revive, or give Chelicera enough sacrifices to feed Bloodfeast and bring him back. With his newfound strategic accumen, Zigar had ensured that his forces took as many enemies alive as possible. In an unlikely turn of events there were not only enough captives to fund Aldrich's resurrection, but Delgal's as well. Chelicera laughed and taunted the unconscious fighter, no longer restrained by his squeamishness about sacrificing to her dark God. Laguna and the Stone Golems wrestled fourteen Neanderthals, Orcs, Bugbears, Goblins and Hobgoblins into position and Chelicera decapitated them one by one, singing the whole time.

Delgal remembered the first syllable of the death spell but not the rest - the magic traveled faster than sound. Then there was a bright light, completely unlike the light of day. Then a feeling like teeth, biting. Then the teeth went away and he was alive. Aldrich was laughing, feeling lively and unencumbered for the first time he could remember. Something about the Bastards' leader had changed, although Delgal didn't feel any different.

Aldrich's first act on returning to life was to trade Chelicera the magical pipes he took off Polyhymnos' corpse for sex. This type of exchange was common for Cave Elves, who craved arcane power above all else, and he was getting married in the morning. The other Adventurers negotiated with the mercenaries for a few more hours of service, marching on Gorrister's keep and taking all his treasure. The Red Ball mercs agreed to follow Delgal into battle again, but Black Mask held out for a share of any treasure recovered from the tower.

 

The Brigands' tower was an eight hour road march away. It was morning and snowing by the time the group got there, exhausted but ready to fight and loot. The Neanderthal camp at the base of the tower was abandoned and looted, Morwenna's soldiers having beaten them there. Ganga casually freeclimbed the hundred foot stone tower and slung a rope over the big balcony, dangling it down the other side so the mercenaries could haul people up by yanking down.

The caryatid columns flanking the entrance to the keep were smashed as though in a rage. Inside, the bodies of Wulf and Hoborg were smeared all over the walls, hacked to pieces and tossed. Wulf's magic shield was still usable, as was Hoborg's magic dagger, but the Elf's ring of Djinni Summoning was gone. Laguna insisted on taking the corpses with him on the way out.

The gang searched Polyhymnos' cabin next. There was money, which they had to share with the Black Masks, but the real wealth was a heap of scrolls. The Satyr was illiterate and hadn't thought to bring them to the combat where someone might have been able to read them. The Bastards kept those for themselves.

And that was that. With the Brigands vanquished but the treasure still at-large, the Lute Bastards enjoyed a much deserved rest. They had won, and soon Aldrich would be married at the Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna.