Monday, June 17, 2024

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna Session Six

With three days to spare until the Tournament of the Giantess Morwenna, four adventurers woke up in the captured Dwarven outpost in the mountains northeast of the lake.

  • The Prospective Suitor Aldrich Brisbane (polymorphed into the beast Umbrich Brisbulk)
  • The Mage Laguna Tempest
  • The Elf Datura
  • The Thug Zigar Kneecapper
They had a job to do. Today was the last day where they could accept the Brazenkragg agents' deal and still have time to get their mercenary army together before the tournament. They also wanted to fuck with Gorrister the Great and his tower. All of those things were on the west side of the region. They left the Giff of the Cannon's Thunder to guard the fort and set off down the hill.

Friday, June 14, 2024

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna: Mercenaries

Hopfer and Schon

If the players want to fight in the Tournament of the Giantess Morwenna but didn’t bring a retinue of troops, they’ll need to recruit an army. They can do so locally, but options are limited besides hiring people away from the other contestants. If they want more troops, they'll have to hire some outside help.

Sunday, June 9, 2024

Unknown Armies: More Favorite Foods

Andre Bones the Silent Clown: Blackberry Pie
Drew Hopkins the Circus Clown: Asparagus w Cheese
Emelio Maranzano the Wrestling Clown: Pho
Jesus Rinconsito the Sad Clown: Coq Au Vin
Speck Flehmen the Scary Clown: Baked Potato

Unknown Armies Shotgun Scenario: INSTANT LOSS

The z-list joshi puro promotion INSTANT LOSS Puroresu. As low as you can go in Japanese women’s professional wrestling and still be above ground. A place to see stuff the bigger promotions can’t get away with anymore. Cheap gimmicks, sleaze and disastrous fuckups. A place a woman works if she’s desperate to break into the business, or has no other options.

Saturday, June 8, 2024

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna Session Five

On the opposite side of the map from the Loot Bastards, a group of Halfings and humans gathered in a hidden burrow to plan their assault on the holdings of the Giantess Morwenna.
  • Ashton "the Astounding" Humblehair, Halfling Magic User
  • Falfer Humblehair, Halfling Magic User
  • Gwimbly the HoBroken, Crippled Human Athlete
  • Jack Fatherd, Human
  • Roddy Applecreek, Halfling Alchemist
Their homes had been destroyed by Morwenna, their families eaten or enslaved. Or they were just sick of watching atrocities and not doing anything. They had a mission, explained to them by the Halfling Guerrilla leader Cruick and the Deep Elf Carnamagos, agent of the Hundred Hands from the Commonwealth.
Morwenna was going to die on her wedding day, Jack Fatherd would make sure of that with his empowered death spell. But that wasn't enough to stop her followers committing atrocities after she was gone. They had to be cut down to size prior the main event. And the most effective way to do that was to cut off their source of scrolls. They manufactured them using a magic item in their main base, southwest of the Giantess' steading. The five guerrillas had to either steal or destroy it.
They worked out a plan where Carnamagos and Cruick would assault the Giantess' meatcamp after the Guerrillas took out the scroll generator, taking advantage of the confusion to wreck her demihuman abattoir and free the captives held there. Jack Fatherd handed out a couple magic items he took with him when he left the Bastards, and they set off into the forest. It was already dark, which suited everyone just fine.

Sunday, June 2, 2024

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna Session Four

Someone banged on the door of the Bastards' room at Ishizaka's blockhouse. It was one of his security Wights, an undead Elf who told them there was a group of people here to see them. The Bastards looked out the window and saw a group of Morwenna's dragoons, towing a supply cart and reinforced by combat scribes, war dogs and Ogre doppelsoldners.

Two adventurers went down to represent the Bastards in front of the goons.
  • The Prospective Suitor Aldrich Brisbane (polymorphed into the beast Umbrich Brisbulk)
  • The Prospective Golemancer Laguna Tempest
The soldiers explained that Aldrich Brisbane or his representatives were ordered to appear before Morwenna and answer for the crimes of Jack Fatherd, against fellow tournament participants and against her forces. Failure to appear would mean expulsion from the tournament and redesignation as food for the Giantess. Umbrich and Laguna weren't intimidated. They'd accompany the soldiers to the steading. They had a crime of their own to report. They retrieved the slime covered pay-chest from the tower and climbed into the supply cart.

Saturday, June 1, 2024

Monster Manual Test Drive: Atoll of the Shark God

A whirlpool has opened in the Atoll of Hanga, leading down to the legendary temple of the long-dead shark god. Treasure hunters salivate at the prospect of a drowned ruin to plunder. Religious authorities worry the great fish may have reawakened - a mindless hungry god that would make Mothermonster look like an HD 0 herd animal.

Saturday, May 25, 2024

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna Session Three

With five days to spare until the Tournament of the Giantess Morwenna, five adventurers woke up in the captured Dwarven outpost in the mountains northeast of the lake.
  • The Prospective Suitor Aldrich Brisbane (polymorphed into the beast Umbrich Brisbulk)
  • The Mage Laguna Tempest
  • The Elf Datura
  • The Thug Zigar Kneecapper
  • The Herdsman Jack Fatherd
Jack Fatherd suspected that Wilusa's Warriors had their main base somewhere in the vicinity of the hill where the group previously met two of their number. That put them uncomfortably close to the Bastards' hideout. Umbrich did some remodeling of the dwarf fortress, burying the Dwarven treasure and plugging up some holes. The adventurers handsomely paid the Dragoon Sabul to clandestinely observe the base from the hunting blind in the foothills, reporting any comings and goings.

With the base secured as best they could, the Lute Bastards set off down the mountain path. Their destination: Gorrister's keep, Iron Cup and Ishizaka's blockhouse. Their mission: cause problems for the Brigands of All Nations, buy cool stuff and hire mercenaries. 

Sunday, May 19, 2024

Monster Overhaul Test Drive: Siege on the Chocolate Coast

In the suppurating jungles of the Lost World are a sea of cocoa plantations. The River Sweat connects those plantations to the Shallow Sea. The majority of the chocolate made in the world flows down that river, out to Isle of Sweat and from there to the world. Iron Cup taxes every boat that passes within shooting range of their coastal fort.

Seeing no reason to submit to the authority of a peasant trade guild, Count Zond Starshell digs a bypass canal to avoid the fort and undercut the Commonwealth merchants. Trade Warden Constantan Malachite objects to the presumptuous testudine's smuggling operation and leads a force of mercenaries against him.

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna - More Gods

Building on the success of the last Gods Post, here are some more deities who have accreted in the time since my run of the Mountain of the Mad Marquis.

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna Session Two

Four adventurers woke up in the lakeside tavern with six days to spare before the tournament of the Giantess Morwenna.
  • The Prospective Suitor Aldrich Brisbane
  • The Mage Laguna Tempest
  • The Elf Datura
  • The Thug Zigar Kneecapper
Zigar had come to the region on unrelated business, but recognized Laguna Tempest from the adventures they shared in the Mountain of the Mad Marquis. Joining the Lute Bastards sounded like a great way to advance his own fortunes.

Saturday, May 18, 2024

Pirate Borg - Buried in the Bahamas

Somewhere in the Dark Carribean, a pirate vessel struggled through a sudden storm in search of a forbidden island. Captain Bloodlash scanned the horizon - what he could see of it anyway - as his first mate Skagg struggled to keep the ship afloat through the foul weather.

Out of nowhere, an enormous galleon infested with skeletons burst out of a fifty foot wave, undead crew hurling grapnels and leaping aboard the floundering pirate ship. Battle was quickly joined. Amid the chaos, two pirates defended themselves as best they could from the skeletons.
  • The dapper Brute Brutus, net in his hand and murder in his heart.
  • The tattooed Buccaneer Bart, with his enchanted flintlock and cheap parrot.
Bart fired both weapons and was stunned by arcane feedback from his magic pistol, then clobbered by a skeleton ogre. Brutus had more success fending off the undead attackers, but nearly fell off the deck when the ship ran aground. The devil's own luck protected the brigands from instant death. Brutus grabbed the insensate Bart and a map that fluttered out of the Captain's grasp as an enormous timber pierced him through the heart. The Brute leaped clear of the whirlpool as the ship went down. 

Monday, May 13, 2024

Monster Overhaul Test Drive: Prison of Dreams

The Old King once joked that he never dreamed the wild dreams of sleep, only the waking dreams of dominion. That was a lie. He dreamed like any other man. In one of his dreams he was a flying sphere covered with eyes, which hated all that saw and feared conspiracies. He dreamed it again, and again. Then the dream woke up, believing itself to be the real thing.