Singing Sand Music Post

Another day, another Singing Sand post with a David Roberts illustration. 

 

I uploaded the Saint Kotar OST to Soundcloud myself since nobody else even noticed when it came out. It's a cool adventure game that released to basically zero acclaim. If you like Delta Green or Fear & Hunger you should try it.

Maintenance and Preservation: Clearmountain Central Services Orientation

Welcome to Clearmountain, the place where the highway ends and the Sea of Trees begins. Once a medieval pilgrimage site, then an industrial logging camp, now a college town and tourist resort. Mountains, forests, hot springs. Restaurants and clubs. Natural beauty and all the convenience of civilization.

Below that, a city of tombs and caves and ancient machines. Insulated cables gnawed clean through by beasts of the underworld. Pipes cracked open and the contents swallowed by the earth. It's all getting old. It's dying. 

Someone needs to go down there and fix it.

The Cage Cup Masterpost

The Cage Cup is an Unknown Armies adventure based on a throwaway line from the Hush Hush splat for 1e, about the suppression of the Bacchanalia in 186 BC. They use it as an example of witch hysteria and why magick needs to be kept secret from the world. I decided to make it a drinking game in the vein of The Eleventh Cup, a scenario I wrote a couple years ago for Delta Green. Eleventh Cup is a four hour investigative meatgrinder of social deduction, while Cage Cup can be completed in a couple hours or less - especially if the players are already familiar with the UA system.

Drink, live well forever.

 

The Cage Cup - Music Post

 

This is a short one since the scenario rarely goes longer than two hours. I didn't worry about picking all-original music and just picked stuff that fit the theme of each encounter.

Unknown Armies Play Report: The Cage Cup Playtest Two

Lucilla was holding a Bacchanal at her villa rustica in the countryside outside Rome. The Domina Fabia, an initiated member of the mysteries, graciously volunteered to provide the sacrificial bull for the night’s illegal festivities. That's why two of her slaves found themselves leading the stupid thing down the dirt road at the eleventh hour of the night, with the cicadas buzzing in the vines and the road of milk pointing down like a lightning bolt in the night sky to the bright shining house on the hill in the dark in the middle of the field.

 

Brennus the Butcher and Gyges the Greek yanked the beast's halter as it bellowed and stomped the earth. Their instructions were to deliver the sacrificial bull and do whatever else the Domina required of them that night. None of them were looking forward to it, either. They had never been to one of these events but they had a nasty reputation.

 

Fear & Hunger: Singing Sand - Playtest Two Part 2

 

The entryway to the tomb had been scoured of useful items, save a mostly-empty pack of cigarettes. The group heard prayers to the Revered Ancestors and the Moon God from the next room. The Sun Priest went through the door and found the expedition leader Na'Od, an archaeologist from the Sun Temple of Amon. Na'Od brandished his magical chac chac and threatened to blast the Sun Priest. The Sun Priest made some progress, explaining the contestants weren't here to kill him or participate in the Termina festival at all. Then the Student pointed his shotgun at the expedition leader. Na'Od cast hurting and blew the Student's leg off. The Student fired his shotgun and nearly caved in the expedition leader's chest. 

 

The Financier defused the situation by yelling at the expedition leader. He spent a LOT of money financing this dig, and he wasn't going to tolerate his investment going to waste. The Priest told them to get the fuck out of his sight, they could use his ritual circles if they wanted. And if they made it to the sarcophagus of the Immortal Ego himself, opening it would banish the Moon God back to space.

Fear & Hunger: Singing Sand - Playtest Two Part 1

Abyssonia, birthplace of civilization, 1913. The nation of Songhai is wracked by tensions between the Deeds Of The Fathers and the Control Faction. The Deeds Of The Fathers believe in isolationism, ancestor worship, collaborative decision making (between adult males) and banning the worship of the Old Gods. The Control Faction believes in international trade, freedom of religion, a strong military, and a form of modernizing authoritarianism based on enlightenment principles rather than the worship of deified heroes. 

These tensions only got worse with the discovery of the fabled tomb of Djoser Parahu Daoud in the Valley of the Gods. The tomb’s discovery ignited a firestorm of controversy, with factions arguing it should be turned into a pilgrimage site, excavated by archaeologists to learn more about the heroes of ancient Songhai, or left undisturbed out of respect to the legendary king. A compromise was reached when the site was turned over to the scholars of the Temple of Amon, universally respected seekers of truth and balance.

 

In their search for knowledge, the sages of the Temple immediately re-ignited the debate by inviting experts from across Abyssonia, Europa and the East to help excavate the ruins of the temple. That’s you. Whatever your personal reasons are, you’re on your way to the Valley of the Gods. Some of you are coming from farther away than others, but the trip is hard on everyone due to the isolation of the desert site, far from the lush forests and river deltas of Songhai’s more populated regions. The last leg of the journey is aboard a military truck, driven by a soldier and carrying supplies for the dig. There’s a nasty sandstorm on the horizon, but once you get into the valley you should be safe.

Unknown Armies: Favorite Foods

Favorite foods of my Unknown Armies characters - ones I've played personally, and pregens I made.

PLAYER CHARACTERS

Adrian Lebarge: Salami on white w mustard

Alice Alcazar: Camarones
Nixon Rudiment: Fritos
Yoshida: Hot tsukemen w pork

Esoteric Enterprises: Maintenance and Preservation Player's Guide

I've been thinking about running Esoteric Enterprises in person at a game store. The amount of paperwork necessary (class reference sheets, huge equipment list, huge spell list, starting tomes, starting gods...) put me off at first, but the Maintenance & Preservation concept lets me discard all that and fit everything on a single double sided page. That plus a character sheet with some info pre-filled in (like saving throws) gets us most of the way there. I have no idea what resonates with normal people but I know the "blue collar urban exploration horror" concept has been popular lately in games like Lethal Company.

I ended up not converting the skill system to d20 roll-under because I want to limit how much of the base game I rewrite. 

Fear & Hunger: Singing Sand - Playtest Part 2

 

The car was equipped with big sand tires and glided over the dunes, down the wadis and up again. The Financier drove the group North past the excavation pit, up the valley to the explosive storage tent marked on the map in the foreman's office. They passed the weird looking vagrant they spotted earlier, who yelled incomprehensibly at them as they sped by.

 

The explosive storage area was an earth dugout lined with sandbags. There was a single dead man outside, brains blown out and acacia flowers growing from the wound. Most of the dynamite in the pit proved to be useless, the nitroglycerin inside had "sweated" outside the sticks and would explode if handled. The Technician was able to salvage a few sticks that could be carried safely, and distributed them to the team. With the bombs in hand, they got in the car and drove back to the pit.

 

Or tried to.

 

Fear & Hunger: Singing Sand - Playtest Part 1

 

Abyssonia, birthplace of civilization, 1913. The nation of Songhai is wracked by tensions between the Deeds Of The Fathers and the Control Faction. The Deeds Of The Fathers believe in isolationism, ancestor worship, collaborative decision making (between adult males) and banning the worship of the Old Gods. The Control Faction believes in international trade, freedom of religion, a strong military, and a form of modernizing authoritarianism based on enlightenment principles rather than the worship of deified heroes. 

These tensions only got worse with the discovery of the fabled tomb of Djoser Parahu Daoud in the Valley of the Gods. The tomb’s discovery ignited a firestorm of controversy, with factions arguing it should be turned into a pilgrimage site, excavated by archaeologists to learn more about the heroes of ancient Songhai, or left undisturbed out of respect to the legendary king. A compromise was reached when the site was turned over to the scholars of the Temple of Amon, universally respected seekers of truth and balance.

 

In their search for knowledge, the sages of the Temple immediately re-ignited the debate by inviting experts from across Abyssonia, Europa and the East to help excavate the ruins of the temple. That’s you. Whatever your personal reasons are, you’re on your way to the Valley of the Gods. Some of you are coming from farther away than others, but the trip is hard on everyone due to the isolation of the desert site, far from the lush forests and river deltas of Songhai’s more populated regions. The last leg of the journey is aboard a military truck, driven by a soldier and carrying supplies for the dig. There’s a nasty sandstorm on the horizon, but once you get into the valley you should be safe.

Unknown Armies Monster: Surgeon Bug

She was deep in the Lexington Necropolis when she saw the angel. It looked like another animal-headed mummy among the countless shriveled corpses that lined the alcoves of the cave. But rudeMechanical had seen it before. The black hood and the beaked skull. 

if anyone else drew near it they would die. If they followed it they would be struck suddenly and dragged away. But she knew it wouldn't harm her. If she wished she could stroke its robes. Touch its face. She was beloved of the Depths and the angel staring at her from the end of the gallery filled her with a reassurance that she was loved. 

 

Painnawire scowled from her perch on the othernaut's shoulder.

"S'justa bug."

rudeMechanical picked the racoon up and deposited her on the floor, because if her familiar was going to be like that she could walk the rest of the way. Piannawire wrung her paws.

"Get'is hair, maka nice coat."

The bird turned and glided away into the tunnel, cane waving from beneath the robe to probe the earth beneath its feet as it departed. It forgave rudeMechanical for her trespass and declined to stalk her for food. Could she catch something for it? She met a man earlier in the inclined gallery. He seemed suspicious of her and it was possible he had been joined by the people he was waiting for. People who would pull him out of any trap he fell into. Drag him to safety if he fell to the ground kicking and writhing and stopped almost immediately because he was paralyzed by strong venom.

She stopped making excuses. She would repay the Goddess' generosity. She had to.

Unknown Armies NPC: Kurta the Androgyne

Everything Kurta knows about transvestism they learned at age 16, in the trenches at Passchendaele. Playing the male role under the bombs and shells of the Englanders, and the female role under their own lecherous unteroffizier - plus his friends when he owed them a favor.

Weimar Berlin has all the blood and sex of the trenches, plus bars and drugs and jazz and fast cars. You can throw a grenade into a crowd of protestors, walk two blocks and sit down for drinks in a bondage club, all without getting your shirt muddy or your shoes wet. The rest of the world calls it the most wicked city on earth. Kurta calls it paradise.

Unknown Armies Pregens

I made some pregenerated characters for Unknown Armies. I wrote a couple shotgun scenarios for the 2023 Unknown Armies jam and I thought it was a good idea to make some characters who could be easily dropped into a wide range of adventures. They can also be deployed as NPCs if you need to quickly spin up a team from one of the metaplot factions.

Esoteric Enterprises: Maintenance and Preservation

I'm thinking of doing EE again. Something more contained, both in scope and player power level. The characters are city workers who descend into the underworld to fix mechanical problems. 

2023 Unknown Armies Halloween Jam Results

The 2023 Unknown Armies Halloween Jam is over! 

Participants had one week and 1333 words to write whatever they wanted for Unknown Armies 3rd edition, provided it fit one or more of the six prompts. We got fourteen entries, plus three examples by me and three more I wrote during the week. The most popular prompt was Subway (seven entries) and the least popular was Non American Occult Underworld (three entries).

 

Thank you to everyone who submitted. I've posted my feedback on the submissions under the cut.

Unknown Armies Play Report: The Cage Cup

Lucilla was holding a Bacchanal at her villa rustica in the countryside outside Rome. The Domina Fabia, an initiated member of the mysteries, graciously volunteered to provide the sacrificial bull for the night’s illegal festivities. That's why four of her slaves found themselves leading the stupid thing down the dirt road at the eleventh hour of the night, with the cicadas buzzing in the vines and the road of milk pointing down like a lightning bolt in the night sky to the bright shining house on the hill in the dark in the middle of the field.

 

 

The four slaves were

• Brennus the Gallic Butcher
• Gyges the Greek Teacher
• Joseph the Jewish Gladiator
• Scribonia the Latin Thief

Their instructions were to deliver the sacrificial bull and do whatever else the Domina required of them that night. None of them were looking forward to it, either. They had never been to one of these events but they had a nasty reputation.

Corpse Reviver Variations

The Corpse Reviver #2 is one of my all time favorite drinks. But let's be honest, you barely notice the gin. Which got me wondering - what if we just replaced the gin with something else?

 

We'll use the same spec for all our taste tests.

• 1oz Base Spirit (normally gin, here we replace with something else)
• 1oz Orange Liqueur (we're using Blue Curacao because I ran out of Marnier and I don't have enough Dry Curacao left)
• 1oz Cocchi Americano
• 1oz Lemon Juice
• Shake together with ice
• Strain into glass
• Add a drop of absinthe (Saint George) and express an orange twist overtop.

Let's revive some corpses.

 

Unknown Armies Play Report: The Treasure of Beaver Island Part 2

Saladin Fisher and Bella Braddock needed a way to get from Beaver Island to nearby High Island, separated by four miles of Lake Michigan. High Island wasn't inhabited and there wasn't a regular ferry service there even in good weather, let alone in October during a rainstorm. Rosalie, the AI assistant built into the Surfa platform on their phones spoke up and offered two suggestions.

• Steal a boat from a vacation home. The island had plenty of empty rental and second homes, inhabitants gone back to the mainland in anticipation of the ferry service shutting down for the winter.
• Buy a magick spell from the Surfa store that would transport them to High Island.

The Courtiers went with the magick spell. They took on a debt of six minor charges and learned the ritual Uber To Hell. If they found the treasure, Rosalie promised the debt would be immediately cleared. Per the ritual activation conditions, Bella called the phone number given and told the dispatcher on the other end she'd "Go through hell" to get to Beaver Island. Ten minutes later, a fire engine red Yugo pulled into the Burger King parking lot. 

 

 

The fat man in the front seat wore thick black coke bottle glasses, like the blob cenobite from Hellraiser. He gave no indication that he understood Bella, but the two back doors opened on their own. The Courtiers climbed inside. There was a thick plastic divider that obscured their view of the front seat. The car pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road. He turned off the paved highway and down a gravel road into the woods. The trees blocked more and more of the light until they couldn't see anything but a blue light approaching up ahead.

 

Unknown Armies Play Report: The Treasure of Beaver Island Part 1

It was October on Beaver Island. The autumn rain lashed Lake Michigan and turned the island's dirt roads into slick channels of mud. At the end of the longest paved road on the island was a Burger King. In the Burger King were two cultists of the Court of the Burger Queen. Their shift was almost over, and with it their tenure on the island. They had seven charged burgers to hand out before then, seven pieces of meat loaded with magickal energy that would, somehow, make the world a better place when fed to customers. Then they'd shut down the restaurant for the season, get on the ferry and go back to the mainland, before the lake froze and travel became impossible.

 

In attendance:

• Murbella "Bella" Braddock, Gunshot Survivor, initiated into the Court after a charged burger saved her from a botched suicide attempt
  
• Saladin Fisher, Cult Survivor, initiated into the Court after he escaped the isolated compound where his parents kept him

There were only a couple hours left in their shift, and they'd be free. Their stuff from the rental house was all boxed up in the Toyota hatchback in the parking lot. The rain hissed on the roof of the restaurant.

Dungeon Crawling Double Feature Masterpost

By Zi

Welcome to the Dungeon Crawling Double Feature, a linked pair of adventures for Unknown Armies 3e.

 

In Part 1: A Dungeon Too Many, the players dig into a dungeon filled with traps, monsters and treasure, in search of the power that will let them topple The Monarchy.

 

In Part 2: No Country For Old Kings, the players get to use all the cool stuff they found in the dungeon to take on The Old King in his desert War Palace.

 

These dungeons are based on a discussion I had on 33.3 FM. The hosts wanted to see an Unknown Armies dungeon crawl set in an actual fantasy world, rather than the regular UA3 urban fantasy/occult setting or a historical setting. 

 

The fantasy world I chose is the same implied setting as the one I used in my previous Dungeon23 project: The Mountain of the Mad Marquis.

 

A Dungeon Too Many - Music Post

Piranesi

Music post for the Unknown Armies dungeon crawling double feature A Dungeon Too Many and No County For Old Kings.

Unknown Armies Play Report: A Dungeon Too Many, Playtest Three

You call it A Dungeon Too Many, yet this is the third one. Curious...

 

The Monarchy ruled the known world. The Old King ruled the Monarchy. His depredations grew unbearable, slave raids and secret police and torture gardens and the magickal experiments that would go on forever if nobody did anything. That's why the Three Adventurers came to the dungeon at Heart-Of-The-World, to claim the ancient power that would let them kill the old ghoul and create something better.

• Dacian, Failed Monk and Adept of the Tower of Pain
• Marrow Bone, Green Man and Avatar of the Knacker
  
• Rope Trick, Former Registered Wizard, Current Avatar of The Enlightenment
  

As you'd expect, the story began with the Adventurers descending into Heart-Of-The-World. They didn't know how long they had before the veins and arteries of the underground place collapsed.

 

Phil Tippet's Mad God

 

The descent into the vestibule went as it always did. Marrow Bone used darkvision to peer into the chamber and spot Whalefall the Roach feeding on the dead adventurer. He grabbed her and snatched the magick misericorde Nocticola's Mercy from her hand before she could stab him. He got her to give up the Iron Flask of demon containment and the location of the hidden garbage chute below the big platform, then scuttled away down the pit when he released her.

Unknown Armies Play Report: You're Not Alexander, Playtest Two

The time: the fourth century BC. The place: the ruins of Troy, in the shadow of the Temple of Athena. The cast:

• Jocasta, the last virgin sacrifice offered by the Locrians in a thousand year ritual to cleanse the sins of Ajax the Lesser at the end of the Trojan War. Survived the bloodrites and was allowed to live as a slave at the Temple of Athena. Champion boxer, serves as the town's police force.
• Kancharmonetes, busker who makes a living re-enacting battles from the epics of old. Also by hooking on the side. Avatar of the Sacred Androgyne with the ability to physically change his sex, which helps sell both types of performance.
  
• Pseudanor, bastard son of a drug dealing maenad and snake priestess. Incapable of casting his mother's snake based magick, but blessed with innate snake abilities. A teenage hellion who loves pranks and mischief. 

Pseudanor's mother, India, was out collecting snakes in the foothills of Mount Ida, and wouldn't be back for a couple days. It was up to the trio of hospitality workers to deal with what happened next.

It started with Kancharmonetes. It was the middle of the night and he was swapped to female, looking for customers at the Fawn's Heart - the only hotel in the ruined city. She was approached by a pair of Dorians interested in taking the roles of Achiles and Patroclus in her infamous Briseis act. They offered her a single gold Alexander for her trouble, which was an insane amount of money. Enough to allay her suspicions that something was up with the pair.

 

 

The pair of Dorians revealed what was up with them when they got upstairs to one of the tavern's private rooms. They pulled out iron-bound clubs and demanded that Kancharmon come with them, by order of the Hipparch of Hellespontine Phrygia. They didn't wait for her to respond. She took a blow to the head before she could get a word in edgewise.

Unknown Armies Play Report: A Dungeon Too Many, Playtest Two Part 2

 LATER, IN A FAR AWAY PLACE...

 

Cactus Garden was a border city, captured at the beginning of the Monarchy’s war with the Djinn Potentates. It sat atop a vast rock formation overlooking a desert of red stone and sand. Water from the pinnacle spilled down to the gardens and farms below.

The city took its name from the dwarf forests of cactus that grew in the foothills of the rock. These were deliberately cultivated by the Djinn, protected from overwatering or clearance by orchardists. They did this so they could use dense patches of cholla to crucify their enemies, tossing victims naked into the dense patches of cactus and watching them impale themselves trying to squirm free. The Old King had the Djinn Citadel converted to his War Palace, where he could direct the war from a safe position reasonably close to the frontline. In the interest of maintaining continuity with the previous rulers, he maintained the tradition of executing people by cactus.

Over the last month, flagellants, mercenaries, itinerant wizards and adventurers gathered in Cactus Garden. Unlike the rest of the soldiers and profiteers flooding into the city, they didn’t come in anticipation of the King’s new offensive against the Potentates. They came to stage a revolt, and that’s exactly what they did. 

 

Every gate in the city was packed with insurgents, attacking soldiers and preventing the Monarchy’s forces from moving freely. The rebellion had no chance of taking and holding the city long-term. They weren’t trying to. Their job was to keep reinforcements out of the War Palace until the Two Adventurers and their mutant brute squad could kill The Old King.

The sounds of battle in the city below were audible fifty feet below as they disembarked the climbing-snail, through the shredded window-grate and into the palace baths. Swords, shouting, lightning bolts and crumbling masonry.

 

Unknown Armies Play Report: A Dungeon Too Many, Playtest Two Part 1

Another day, another Dungeon Too Many.

 

The Monarchy ruled the known world. The Old King ruled the Monarchy. His depredations grew unbearable, slave raids and secret police and torture gardens and the magickal experiments that would go on forever if nobody did anything. That's why the Four Adventurers came to the dungeon at Heart-Of-The-World, to claim the ancient power that would let them kill the old ghoul and create something better.

• Dacian, Failed Monk and Adept of the Tower of Pain
  
• Marrow Bone, Green Man and Avatar of the Knacker
  

The story began with the Two Adventurers descending into Heart-Of-The-World. They didn't know how long they had before the veins and arteries of the underground place collapsed.

 

They knew Heart-Of-The-World was a trap. They knew the power it held was the bait. But if nobody ever survived, where did the stories come from?

 

Unknown Armies Play Report: A Dungeon Too Many Part 2

The Four Adventurers left the bloody pulp zone and returned to the vestibule. The trap in the entryway was triggered and the corpse was gone, but there was no dead cockroach in sight. The group decided to get one more soul before returning to the surface. Rope Trick had been patient with the other group members' selections, but she really wanted to try the door marked with the guy reading.

The door with the book led to a mysterious portal, almost covered by strange purple ferns growing from the lichen on the walls around it. A jungle of fantastical foliage was visible through the shimmering gateway, and Rope Trick decided to test it out herself. She would go through, and if she couldn't return she'd use her ring of blinking to teleport back to the group.

Rope Trick made it through the portal in one piece. The "jungle" on the other side was a big terrarium, lit by carvings of heavenly bodies on the ceiling, watered by gargoyles on the wall that dribbled liquid. The portal was closed to return-trips, but there was a command-word written on the inner rim in Enlightenment cipher that she was able to read. She spoke it and the portal opened, permitting the return trip if she so desired. Satisfied that the group wouldn't be trapped, she waved and invited the rest of the adventurers through.

 

Unknown Armies Play Report: A Dungeon Too Many Part 1

The Monarchy ruled the known world. The Old King ruled the Monarchy. His depredations grew unbearable, slave raids and secret police and torture gardens and the magickal experiments that would go on forever if nobody did anything. That's why the Four Adventurers came to the dungeon at Heart-Of-The-World, to claim the ancient power that would let them kill the old ghoul and create something better.

• Dacian, Failed Monk and Adept of the Tower of Pain
  
• Fever River, Matachin and Self Taught Assassin
  
• Marrow Bone, Green Man and Avatar of the Knacker
  
• Rope Trick, Former Registered Wizard, Current Avatar of The Enlightenment
  

The story began with the Four Adventurers descending into Heart-Of-The-World. They didn't know how long they had before the veins and arteries of the underground place collapsed.

 

  

 

They knew Heart-Of-The-World was a trap. They knew the power it held was the bait. But if nobody ever survived, where did the stories come from?

Don't Make Me Say It Again: I'm A Cleaner - More Monsters

Another handful of Cleaners. This time we're grabbing some creatures from the OSE Advanced Fantasy book as an explanation for who took the treasure out of the dungeon when you left.

 

It's worth quickly explaining why I like this concept at all. When I run a dungeon I just care about the dungeon, I don't simulate wilderness travel or the provisioning minigame, or anything else that would make the characters think twice about spending day after day exploring a little bit at a time. So anything that applies forward pressure needs to be something that happens in the dungeon itself. The Cleaners aren't intended as a "punishment" for slow play, they're a countervailing force to the players' otherwise completely reasonable tendency to stop exploration as soon as things get dangerous and wait a day for resources to replenish.

 

Don't Make Me Say It Again: I'm A Cleaner - Scalphunters

The Commonwealth ended the depredations of the Hanged King and the Monarchy, and replaced them with a new and different set of depredations. One of those is the practice of scalphunting.

Financiers in the Commonwealth convince the Genius Loci (the legislative body) to grant them rights to establish a colony in a particular place on the frontier. The majority stakeholders in that colony get the right to regulate trade in the colonized territory and do various other things associated with government. The colony is typically a location that has other people living in it, humans or demihumans or assorted fantasy creatures. Those creatures object to the encroachment and attack the colonists, and the Trade Wardens of that colony put bounties on them. Thugs go out and slaughter the creatures to claim the bounty. They don't discriminate between the ones causing trouble and the ones that just happen to be the same species.

Don't Make Me Say It Again: I'm A Cleaner - Angrboda the Cave Elf

I recently wrapped the Mountain of the Mad Marquis, an eight session delve into one of my dungeon23 projects. At the end of the last session, when the players returned to the bottom floor to loot the aftermath of the final fight, the random encounter table spat out a single Drow riding a Tuatara. With their consumable resources exhausted, their pockets filled with other treasure, and the NPC's capabilities unknown, the players elected not to challenge her for the haul. That's the origin story of Angrboda the NPC Cave Elf, who rocketed up to Level 4 off the loot, and her trusty steed Pythia.

Goblin Punch just made a cool post about ways to apply time pressure to dungeon exploration without having to track individual torch burn rates. One of his suggestions is to shrink the value of unclaimed treasure in the dungeon each time the players go back to the surface. There are a couple ways to explain this, such as dungeon creatures carrying off the treasure, or the dungeon being a metaphysically hostile place that didn't want you to take the money out of it. I prefer the former, since it's something real the players can interact with if they realize what's happening and plan around it. DCSS had monsters like this, slimes that would hoover up items and dissolve them if you were slow exploring. They'd eat anything you left behind in the Slime Pits once you killed the boss and opened up the vault.

Let's use Angrboda as our first Cleaner, to explain where all the money went. 

Mountain of the Mad Marquis - Masterpost

Thomas Cole

Pursuing a bounty on a legendary bandit, a party of adventurers on the edge of civilization descends into the ruined estate of a mad Marquis, and the unknown depths below.

 

Mountain of the Mad Marquis - Music Post

Pierre Woeiriot de Bouzey

 

Music from my eight session run of Mountain of the Mad Marquis. Items shaded in red never appeared in-game.

Mountain of the Mad Marquis - Epilogue

In the mountains, a mantis-man woke up to a strange presence in his tent. He was blind but he perceived the world through other senses, and he suppressed his instinctive reaction to kill the intruder when he realized it was none other than his long lost leader. The Bandit Chief's aura was hazy with sulfur and an inner-heat, like fire burning. But the smell and sound was unmistakable.

"Gorrister, you have returned to us" chittered the Mantis man. All was not lost. The headman would lead them out of their exile and it would be just like the old days, with blood and plunder for everyone.

The blind bug couldn't see it, but the bald bandit's eyes blinked twice, once with his eyelids and once with the nictating membrane over his new, slit pupils.

"Yes." the brigand said. "...Gorrister."

Mountain of the Mad Marquis - Session 8

On the tenth day, a pair of dungeon veterans gave the Mountains of the Mad Marquis another try.

• Al-Hafiz, Level 4 Fedayeen
• Laguna Tempest, Level 4 Warcaster

As usual, Al-Hafiz brought Eric the Barbarian along as extra muscle. They had cleared most of the Ancient Ruins on level 3 the previous expedition, and hoped to finish off the floor. They arrived at the ruined surface keep to find four Orcs carrying the corpse of a fifth. They were wearing brightly colored sashes similar to Ishizaka's mercenaries but under that they were clearly tribals from the hills. They had accepted Ishizaka's offer of protection in exchange for service, not interested in being picked off by scalphunters after surviving the onslaught of the berserkers. The sashes showed they were under the genie's protection, and it was illegal for Commonwealth bounty hunters to kill them for their ears.

The Orcs recognized the adventurers as friendlies, and accompanied them down the winch to the sinkhole. Thelema the Gravewarden received the corpse, and the Green Men offered a prayer of depositum custodi along with a flask of an unknown substance. Thelema asked the adventurers not to enter the sanctification rooms. She was teaching Endura how to cut up and prepare bodies, because having work to do made her sister less mopey and suicidal, and a group of armed thugs appearing wouldn't improve the situation.

The gang took the long way around, through the skeleton infested catacombs. This was harmless because Thelema whitelisted them after the first time the group rescued her, so the skeletons didn't attack. The players decided as long as they were over here, they would explore the water termite infested zone before going to floor three. There were still some unmapped areas and potentially some treasure.

 

Mountain of the Mad Marquis - Session 7

Nine days into the exploration of the Mountain of the Mad Marquis, three warriors answered the call to adventure.

• Al-Hafiz, Level 4 Fedayeen
• Jack Fatherd, Level 5 Survivor
  
• Porkesilaus Poliorcetes, Level 4 Hoglord

Al-Hafiz began the day by executing the three surviving Rose Hips. He had spent the last few days curing their addiction to Smoke and various other super-science drugs, but the damage was done. They gazed out of the cage at him with reptilian eyes, cold-blooded draconic beings who would do anything to escape and go back to their slave-trading ways. They didn't go quietly, but their Sleep and Charm spells were no match to the squad of adventurers and hirelings who joined in hacking them to pieces.

When their grim work was done, the adventurers decided what to do. They weren't interested in the agreement Wakefield and Laguna made with the Scalphunters the day before, and instead took Eric the Barbarian off the bench for a dive into the dungeon. They picked up their daily dose of smoke from the re-activated lab, went to the sinkhole and used the pulley system installed by the Dwarven Surveyor to descend the pit.

 

Thelema the Gravewarden reminded the adventurers that her sister Endura was still seriously injured. Nobody was allowed inside the mausoleum because Thelema was worried Endura's burns would get infected, or her mostly-destroyed lungs would get some form of pneumonia. The adventurers realized that they had enough God power between the three of them to cast a combined restoration spell... but decided to wait until after they were finished plundering the dungeon for the day.

 

Mountain of the Mad Marquis - Session 6

Day eight of the Mountain of the Mad Marquis. This time, two adventurers showed up to give it a try.

• Laguna Tempest, Level 2 Warcaster
• Wakefield, Level 2 Burglar

The pair of robbers decided they needed some muscle, and hired a pair of mercenaries from Ishizaka's enterprise. They worked for Cortez, but hadn't seen him lately. Laguna bought magical reagents and scribed a scroll of Fireball for emergency use. Then they set off for the keep of the Mad Marquis.

The first thing they noticed is that a group of people had come through the surface castle before them. At least three visitors, some time between the previous day of adventuring and this morning. The duo proceeded cautiously with Wakefield in the lead scouting the path, following the footprints down to the next level.

Mountain of the Mad Marquis - Session 5

On day five of the dig, three adventurers left Ishizaka's shop to deal with some unfinished business on the upper floors of the dungeon.

• Al-Hafiz, Level 3 Fedayeen
• Ivaqirax Obus, Level 1 Mage
  
• Protesilaus Poliorcetes, Level 3 Acolyte

They brought Eric the Barbarian with them. Their first task was to shut off the smoke vent in the Vivisectionist Library that they opened on the first day of the excavation. This would enable Irene to re-establish smoke production in the Library, ensuring a steady supply of the drug. Protesilaus also wanted Irene to cultivate a yellow mold sample he took, for use as a biological weapon.

The group tried to use the secret hatch they discovered on the first day to get into the Library. It was visibly bulging and smoke was seeping out of the seams around it. Opening the hatch almost took Protesilaus' head off. A jet of superheated smoke came shooting out of the hatch, where it had been accumulating for four days. The beam cut the limb off a nearby tree and the group decided to find another way down. Like the stairs.

Unknown Armies NPC - Fred Pike

 

Fred Pike was a heroin addict who died of a fentanyl overdose in a public bathroom at Seattle’s Pike Place Market. Thanks to a spell placed on the building complex by legendary urbanomancer Roosevelt Dime, he was immediately resurrected as the genius loci of the market, the tutelary spirit of the place. He replaced Marta Pike, the previous spirit of the place, when he died. She could have saved him, but she was fatally bored with her life and thought it would be a step up for Fred.

You're Not Alexander Masterpost

 

You're Not Alexander! is an Unknown Armies adventure set in the ruined city of Troy at the end of the Classical era. A group of hospitality workers in the Trojan tourist trap must save their friend from being sacrificed in a thousand year old bloodrite.

• Scenario Folder including player document, spell school and avatar paths.
• First Playtest Part 1
• First Playtest Part 2
• Second Playtest
  
• Music Post

You're Not Alexander! - Music Post

 

I only had a few for this one.

 

Unknown Armies NPC - Three Bear

 

A man must have a hobby. Three Bear’s hobby is killing powerful occult underworld figures and making Dipsomancy significant vessels out of their skulls. This makes him a lot of enemies, but also a Robin Hood figure for the enemies of his victims. You don’t get to the top without stepping on people, and those people are usually happy when you get your comeuppance. And Three Bear is generous with the spoils.

Mountain of the Mad Marquis - Prep For Session 5

GIANT BIRDS

Cortez the Orc says he saw a pair of giant birds flying over the mountain. Way bigger than the giant crows that live in the old keep. They were too high in the air to shoot, even with his rifle.

 

IRENE AND THE LAB

Irene the Vivisectionist may be lawful aligned now, but that won't stop her from getting the old lab up and running, if someone goes in there and shuts off the smog vent so she can actually work. It'll cost 1,000 silver pieces to get smoke production back online, granting a daily supply of dragon drugs.

ISHIZAKA'S GENTLY USED SPELLBOOKS

Ishizaka the Genie is selling gently used spellbooks at rock bottom prices. 1,000 silver pieces gets you a tome guaranteed to contain a single random spell, which you can add to your own spellbook for later memorization and casting. All sales are final.

THE MUTOIDS

Gowonry the Bear Headed Man has taught the Centipede Headed Woman the basics of reading and writing. Her name is Ai, but everyone just calls her Grit. 

THE STORY OF THE BERSERKERS

Eric's gang of Berserkers came to the Mountain of the Mad Marquis because a shaman told them it was going to give birth to a supreme evil that would leave the dungeon and inflict itself on the world. The Berserkers were trying to stop it by cleansing the dungeon of life.

 

Unknown Armies NPC - rudeMechanical

What would you do to visit another world? What price would you consider too high to get to the other side? To live in a place made from dreams and pure will? Would you feed it with your own blood?

 

Would you kill someone? 

 

Mountain of the Mad Marquis - Gods of the World

A handful of deities from the world of ANGUISHEDWIRES, The Manor of the Giant Arminius, and the Mountain of the Mad Marquis. If your character has at least one Soul Die, it might be fun to pick a God from this list. They don't have any special effects, yet...

Mountain of the Mad Marquis - Session 4

Day four of the Mountain of the Mad Marquis. The adventurers made good progress last time, and with the berserkers out of the way were ready to push forward and get the Duck Signet Ring from the tomb of the Mad Marquis so they could reach Level 3 of the dungeon.

This time, five adventurers showed up to dig into the dungeon.

• Al-Hafiz, Level 2 Fedayeen
• Jack Fatherd, Level 5 Survivor
• Laguna Tempest, Level 1 Warcaster
  
• Protesilaus Poliorcetes, Level 2 Acolyte
• Wakefield, Level 1 Burglar

They brought Eric the Barbarian along with them as an extra pair of hands to hold weapons and treasure. Several adventurers sported plate armor formerly worn by the skeletons, refurbished at Ishizaka's shop.

By Stepan Alekseev

The giant crows were back in the surface keep, watching Jack Fatherd to see if he would give them more treats. One of the beasts approached him and let him stroke its feathers. It dropped a shiny trinket for him: a small blade of prismatic obsidian, attached to a wooden hilt. He rewarded the bird with a silver coin.

The group descended the excavated stairs at the Southwest end of the old keep, and from there went down through the smashed floor in the Holy Mountain room to the Necropolis.

Mountain of the Mad Marquis - Session 3

Another day, another descent into the Mountain of the Mad Marquis. This time four adventurers left the camp to delve the ruins.

• Al-Hafiz, Level 1 Fedayeen
• Jack Fatherd, Level 5 Survivor
• Laguna Tempest, Level 1 Warcaster
  
• Protesilaus Poliorcetes, Level 1 Acolyte

They were accompanied by Gowonry and the centipede woman, two Mutoids recruited on a previous delve into the dungeon. Laguna had some boards to cross the broken bridge in the bone pit, and the group hoped to retrieve the duck signet ring from the Marquis' tomb so they could progress to the next level of the dungeon. They decided to go down the fast way, using the one tun barrel and the rope around the tree. They all hopped into the barrel and left the centipede woman on the surface to lower them into the pit. It was a risky move, with their combined weight she could just barely lower them into the pit without dropping them. She wouldn't be able to haul up more than a couple people at a time.

The gang saw before they got to the bottom that something wasn't right. The plants in the cemetery sinkhole were trampled and the doors of the makeshift inn were smashed open. Whoever wrecked the place went through the South door, and the gang followed their footsteps to see what was going on.

Temple of the Crying Buddha Masterpost

Temple of the Crying Buddha is an Unknown Armies oneshot inspired by a couple episodes of the 33.3 FM show. Players take the role of Imperial Japanese soldiers during the Rape of Nanking, sent to pillage an ancient temple full of dangerous secrets. A cheap trick, I know, setting the scenario during an atrocity to immediately grab the players' attention. Everyone will get what they deserve. 

• Scenario Folder including pregens and a new avatar path
  
• First Playtest
• Music Post

Mountain of the Mad Marquis - Session 2

The adventurers were not eager to spend two days hiking back to the nearest town, but they had treasure to sell and items they needed to purchase to improve their odds of survival. They descended the mountain along the old cart path, overgrown with trees and bushes.

 

An Orc came up the road, clad in garish armor, wearing rose colored glasses and carrying a muzzleloading rifle. He didn't make any special effort to stay hidden, nor did any of the mercenaries following him.

 

By me

The adventurers observed from stealth as Cortez the Orc placed an iron flask on the ground, waited about a minute expectantly, then gave it a kick. A cloud of smoke emitted from the vessel, resolving into a genie. The spirit theatrically fell on his hands in mid-air and vomited up a whole tent and market stall. Ishizaka's market was open for business.

The concept was simple. Ishizaka the Genie knew there was treasure in the dungeon, and he was the only person within a week's travel who had the capital to buy it all with currency. He'd take whatever the players brought up from the Mad Marquis' mansion, and they could use the coin they earned to buy supplies to bring up more treasure. And if they died, there would be more adventurers to take their place. All he had to do was wait, and sell useful items at market rates.

Two adventurers took him up on the deal.

• Laguna Tempest, Level 1 Warcaster
  
• Zigar Kneecapper, Level 1 Thug

They picked up rope, spikes, a hammer and a wax writing tablet for Gowonry the Mutoid, so that he could communicate more complex ideas than just "yes" and "no".

Then they went back to the ruined keep, for another crack at the Mountain of the Mad Marquis.