The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna Session Eight

Five adventurers woke up in Ishizaka's blockhouse on the last day before the Tournament of the Giantess Morwenna.

• Umbrich Brisbane the Fighter
  
• Laguna Tempest the Mage
  
• Zigar Kneecapper the Thug
  
• Datura the Elf
  
• Delgal Haberkorn the Student Wizard
  

Accompanied by their hired Illusionist Cangue and the Stone Golem Slagface, the adventurers peered out of the window at the commotion from the crossroads a couple miles east. A column of Green Men from One Ear marched north toward Gorrister's keep, singing cheerful songs. They decided to wait until their mercenaries arrived before investigating this new development. They were scheduled to show up and they needed to get everyone introduced and delivered to the Dwarven outpost where the rest of the Bastards' forces were waiting.

 

The student Wizards of Red Ball were first to arrive, led by the chapter leader Yad. They were happy to see Delgal was still alive, and happier to see the cool Stone Golem Laguna made. Laguna yelled at them to stay back, brandishing his spellbook like he was about to Wall of Force the whole group. Datura and Zigar weren't interested in leading the group, so Umbrich browbeat Laguna into burning a Scroll of Polymorph to change him back into a human.

The Panzerbjorn arrived next, a trio of mercenaries wearing animated Tardigrade exoskeletons as power armor. Or they would, in battle. At the moment they were riding on top of the zombie bears. The leader Gwynfwydych leaped off and went to parlay with Aldrich. He was excited to work together and wanted to know all about the battle plan and the forces he would be up against.

The men and mushrooms of Black Mask arrived last, caps expanded to catch as much rain as possible. Their superstitious leader Hintikka harangued Aldrich for increased hazard pay, warning the Bastards that Gorrister the Great was possessed by an Ancient Red Dragon. Aldrich salved her anxiety and Datura deflected any question of increased wages back to the Brazenkragg agents who set up the contract. Datura and Zigar did some final shopping, picking up muskets and armor for the Orcs they recruited the day before. Then the Bastards set off for the Dwarf base, leading their column of new friends.

 

 

The familiar road took them past Gorrister's tower once again. At the base, the Neanderthal camp was enhanced by a spread of One Ear mercenaries. Goblins, Orcs, Hobgoblins and Bugbears set up tents and dug fortifications. A human Barbarian in adventuring gear chopped wood at an impressive pace, out of place among the monstermen. Datura and Zigar went to investigate. A Bugbear sentry carrying a rifle stopped them short of the perimeter, but they convinced him to spill the beans with a small bribe. The leader of One Ear, Robert the Bandit, was only interested in sex with the Giantess. The leader of the Brigands of All Nations, Gorrister the Great, was only interested in ruling Morwenna's nascent kingdom. Robert agreed to help Gorrister win the tournament in exchange for sex with his wife-to-be. Also, the One Ear mercenaries found a bunch of giant tuataras in an old Cave Elf subsurface base, trained to respond to commands in the Cave Elf language, so now they had a force of mounted rifles.

A group of Neanderthals came thundering down the road out of the abandoned village on the north shore of the lake, but yielded to the Bastards when it became apparent that their march column was reinforced and not intimidated. Nothing else interrupted the Bastards on the way back to their home base in the mountains.

Aldrich turned the mercenaries over to Pinkgin and the Giff of The Cannon's Thunder for some rudimentary drills in combined arms fighting, freeing up the gang to go adventuring. Datura and Zigar got the new Orc recruits equipped and sent them out with the others to train up their musketry. Laguna took the Red Ball mages down into his lab and immediately pissed away all their spell slots summoning a second golem. He named the smooth Malachite man "Tumble" and rechristened his previous Hematite golem "Rough".

 

Chelicera flagged down Aldrich. She had previously been promised sacrificial victims so she could summon demons, and the Orcs were a prime candidate. They'd do anything to protect their ancestors' bones. By sacrificing ten of them she could summon a Malebranche on the day of the tournament, a powerful demon which would be more useful than a maniple of moronic musketeers. Aldrich disagreed. If they took live captives during the tournament Chelicera could have them, but he wouldn't turn over his allies.

 

With the mercenaries under control, the Bastards went adventuring. They heard rumors about a Medusa on an island in the middle of the lake and wanted to recruit her. They found a ruined rowboat in the swamp formerly occupied by the Bullywugs and shoddily restored it. Zigar and Aldrich rowed out into the water to introduce themselves. The small island in the middle of the lake was covered with bonsai trees, rocks and pieces of statues - including a bunch that looked like Morwenna's soldiers. There was a drystone hut in the center, smoke seeping out of the sod roof from inside. Aldrich pulled the rowboat ashore and yelled a greeting. Someone up there must have liked him, because the Medusa yelled from inside the house that he needed to leave immediately. He got back in the boat and shouted that he'd be happy to help her with her endeavors. She told him to kill everyone on shore and she'd think about it. The duo rowed back across the lake and the boat didn't even sink. 

 

While they were tying up loose ends, the adventurers traveled east along the lakeshore to the marsh where they spotted the undead fighting previously. Delgal waded out into the muck and yelled at the battling bog bodies, offering them riches and glory if they'd fight on his behalf during the tournament. The walking corpses shuffled forward and tried to attack him. The Bastards waded into the fray, Datura drawing the anti-undead sword Night Slasher. The sword was happy to finally chop up some zombies, and immediately scattered the walking corpses with a Turn Undead. The Bastards made quick work of the coffer corpses as they shuffled away. Their reward was a handful of ancient jewelry and a magic horn that Delgal identified as a Horn of Cave Ins. It was dark by the time they finished up in the swamp. Thankfully nothing attacked them in the dark as they hiked back up to the outpost to plan the battle tomorrow.

 

The Bastards worked out the skeleton of a battle plan: They'd spend the Curse Tablet on Gorrister the Great at the beginning of the battle, making him blindly attack his allies. This would either kill off some of the Brigands' heavy hitters or get Gorrister killed outright. Meanwhile they'd send Median's swarm of Killer Bees after Robert the Bandit, in hopes that killing One Ear's leadership would take them out of the fight. The Bastards, reinforced by Ganga and Chelicera, would storm the tomb in the center of the map and hold it against all comers. Zigar would lead the rest of their forces in a combined arms operation on the flanks, keeping the enemy from storming the control point through sheer weight of numbers. A basic strategy, but a flexible one that leveraged their strengths.