Riverboat Gambler: Epilogue

 

The mantis Colored Shell leaped from the slab and fell atop the bounty hunter Senthrax Blackmath. Somewhere the tribe did the same to the Orc and the Amazon and the others. They might have been within the reach of a claw or in line of sight or far away. Colored Shell didn't notice or care after her forelegs closed around his body. She clasped him tight and he struck her four times for every one bite she took from his head. The first rasping cut from her mandibles caught the spikes of his helm and injured her. The second too. 

 

Riverboat Gambler Masterpost

Lear

 

LADIES and GENTLEMEN

For crimes INCLUDING but NOT LIMITED TO  

CANNIBALISM

SLAVE TRADING

GROSS violation of the moral law in service of a PROSCRIBED DEITY

And his FAILURE to appear before this body and give account of these accusations

The GENIUS LOCI is proud to announce

(PAID FOR by generous contributions from POTION ADDICT, the WORSHIPFUL COMPANY OF THE MATACHINS, the FRIENDS OF NATURAL JUSTICE, and the TOWER OF PAIN)

A bounty of FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND SILVER PIECES

On the outlaw ALDRICH BRISBANE

(The VILLAIN last seen absconding to HOGMAN'S PLAIN)

DEAD

OR

ALIVE

 

Riverboat Gambler - Music

Dali

 

The Priestess who handed the Thresher an enormous loaf and a tureen of spiced lentils told him the thing in his heart was a gift. He said nothing to her but she saw through him into his heart. The Goddess would not take it away like she would a physical wound. It hurt but it separated him from the things that squirmed and writhed in the vaults beneath the Tower of Pain. The ones which, turned loose, would mindlessly kill and kill until driven back into the cave with holy sigils and command words.

Animals had instinctive fear of man. A sword was no different from a stinger or a claw and from the moment they could walk, they ran. Not so for children, even the children of monstermen. They associated creatures larger than themselves with smiling faces and food. They rushed toward the armored figures as they came through the door, chirping excitedly, expecting companionship and play- At what point had he himself gone from expecting companionship and play to accepting the splash of arterial blood on his face without flinching? He recalled playing with pillbugs in the straw. Imagining he rode a dragon. He recalled also how he had set a trap for the cat under the milk pail. He had tormented ants until they flew into a rage and killed their sisters. If others were cruel to him he was crueler still. Perhaps there was no transition. Was that an excuse he made to himself? Did he say he was born rotten because he couldn't accept that he had allowed it to happen? A click came from the big board. Below the image of the bread and the sword, the display ticked over. The Thresher's name appeared in the order of precedence next to his new score. The Goddess' love came freely but her approval was hard won. It filled the Thresher in an instant. Stronger than beer and the taste of buttered bread. Stronger than the bullet in his heart when he thought about what he had done to get his name there.

 

Riverboat Gambler Session Twelve

Diefenbach

On one side of the flooded room

• Roddy Applecreek
• Datura the Elf, still giant from the Potion of Growth
• Jack Fatherd
• Alice Woodfingers the Mower and her two Grain Clerics
• A reduced force of Hsigo
• A Shambling Mound made of ANFO
• Five Giant Bats and six Giant Woodpeckers to carry them 

On the other side

• Baradye the Blue Dragon
• Aldrich Deathdragon, transformed into a smaller Blue Dragon
• Poliouchos the Dwarf, Holy Slave of Quickness
• A Disciple of Zezyan
• 28 desert warriors pledged to the Disciple

 

At the heart of it all, the Star Spawn.

Riverboat Gambler Session Eleven

Roberts

 

Reunited with their boats, flush with the treasure of the massacred giants and concerned about dragon-Aldrich's considerable lead, the Gamblers met with Alice and Captain Leadcutter and planned their next move. They had five giant bats and six giant woodpeckers to carry them into the High Plain. Besides the Gamblers they decided to take Alice, two low level Grain Clerics, the Shambling Mound full of ANFO, a Scarecrow and a spare bomb. They'd ride the flying animals while the Hsigo scouted the area around the party. Roddy prepared a handful of grenades and distributed them to the Hsigo so they could bombard targets from the air. 

 

Encanta stared into the middle distance. The Gamblers thought she was having an absence seizure. Then she snapped her head forward and spoke in a voice they didn't recognize. The Gamblers owed a debt service payment on their cool ship. There was a little matter of 100,000 SP pending.

 

The Gamblers recognized this phenomena. The financial concern to whom they owed repayment had sold the debt to the Repo Men, an adventurers' guild like Iron Cup or Potion Addict. They used long range possession to enforce repayment even when debtors journeyed to the furthest realms. Datura negotiated the Repo Man down from 10K to 3,000 silver pieces, which she paid out of her own pocket. The Halfling pressed her face to the stone block they used as a table and slurped up the coins, which never made it down her throat into her stomach. Then she snapped back into her own body. Why did her mouth taste like sand? 

 

D100 Questions From D4 Caltrops

 

Responses to random selections from the d100 questions list by D4 Caltrops, whose OSE Encounter Activities I greatly enjoyed.

 

Riverboat Gambler Session Ten

Mayer 

 

Jack Fatherd, Roddy Applecreek and Datura the Elf led a squad of Hsigo into the mastaba. They entered on the third level and took a spiral staircase down to the bottom floor, following the tracks left by the birds. The bottom floor landing had four stone doors, one in each direction.

• North, illustrated with images of crocodiles. The door was open, the tracks led through.
• West, illustrated with a man descending into a watery abyss
• South, illustrated with a sarcophagus
• East, illustrated with a baboon headed man and a beetle headed woman.

Jack opened the southern door in hopes of finding treasure. He stopped in his tracks when he noticed a slot in the ceiling, where a stone slab could descend and trap him in the room.

Datura followed the tracks into the north room. The seven surviving giant woodpeckers stood around a pool filled with sand. They gave warning cries. Datura shot one of the wounded birds and they attacked as a flock. The east door opened and a flood of animal mummies spilled out into the landing.

Riverboat Gambler - Session Nine

 

Datura, Jack and Roddy set off on their Giant Bats to recover guano from the tomb. It was within walking distance but it was still night and the Plain was covered with undead. The tomb was on a hill surrounded by a thick stand of cacti that stopped the zombies and ghouls from getting in. The Gamblers landed their flying foxes atop the mound of rock.

 

Two blue flashes over the horizon lit the plain to the north. A moment later, two more. Two double taps for a total of four. The distant sound of thunder came later, indicating the source was leagues away. Four total blasts was more than a single Blue Dragon (which they had spotted) could fire in a day. Roddy suspected there were two, who each used their breath weapon twice and held the third in reserve. But where did the second one come from?

 

The courtyard outside the tomb, surrounded by the cacti, had a weathered statue of a jackal headed man. Jack took a silver ring off the stone sentinel's finger and pocketed it for later identification. He detected Cactus Cats hiding in the teddy bear cacti. The adventurers headed inside.

 

Riverboat Gambler - Session Eight

Jack, Roddy and Datura supervised the excavation of the debris obstructing the ships. They mounted up and used the shallow draft of their vessels to skate over the thin layer of water covering the rock fill. Grain barges coming down the river would be in trouble, but they were on a mission to pursue a dangerous fugitive and couldn't wait.

The Mowers held funeral games aboard the Bottle Full Of Rain for the four dead cultists. They wrestled one another and challenged Alice Woodfingers. She denied them catharsis. The strength of her biomechanical arms was given by the Goddess, it wasn't fair to pit them against the strength of men. One man responded that an unfair contest between man and God was the essence of life itself. Alice nodded and tossed him into the river.

 

Riverboat Gambler - Session Seven

 

Jack, Zigar, Roddy and Datura worked out a plan of attack with Smaragdino the Grain Cleric and Alejandra the Minotaur. The cult would send the flying ship Llanera to drop off a blocking force at the Serpent Tomb (to destroy the Giants if they made it back with their prize), then head west to garrison the Tomb of the God in case that was Aldrich's target. The Gamblers would head south accompanied by one cult ship to the Tomb of the Dragon and a force of two other gunboats would go to the Shield Volcano.

 

The ship which was to accompany the Gamblers floated in a columned impluvium with a tunnel bored through the rock to access the river. The Bottle Full Of Rain, a lightweight dhow or beden which mounted a pair of swivel guns. A compliment of sailors worked to prepare the vessel for departure. The Cleric Alice Woodfingers clouted her detachment of ten Mowers aboard the boat, gesticulating with her arms of living oak and shouting that they'd overdose if she left them in charge of their own combat stims. Roddy recognized the signs of black honey addiction, a stimulant that granted extra actions but destroyed the user's teeth. The Mowers all had grills of wood, bone or gold. 

 

Alice explained the score to the Gamblers in between shouting at her troops. The Bottle could match the Last Round's normal speed under sail, and if she handed out stims the Mowers could match the steamship's blueline speed under oars. She had a gift for the Gamblers, something to mount on their ships. A group of teenage acolytes brought out six scarecrows on poles. Jack asked what they were for and all six turned and bowed at him, doffing their straw hats. Alice explained that the constructs absorbed magic spells and would protect the ship from the Giants' lightning toss power. 

 

At Roddy's insistence, Datura negotiated access to one of the ammonium nitrate "golems" for use in demolitions. The rest of the gang purchased healing potions and other necessities. The grain cult potions came in earthware jars and tasted like thick barley porridge, a marked contrast to the glowing red serum sold by Potion Addict.

Riverboat Gambler - Session Six

Roddy and Zigar went back up the mountain to clear out the dungeon. They took the mutants Afex, Mancy and Josh with them. The monsters disappeared into the wilderness almost immediately and when the Gamblers were about half way up the path to the cave they returned with a warning: Cortez' Rangers were waiting by the dungeon entrance. There were twelve rangers with camels and rifles and they were probably waiting for someone to come out of the dungeon so they could shake them down for money. They had no doubt spotted the steam from the Last Round parked down in the river and had likely spotted Roddy and Zigar climbing the hill.

 

Riverboat Gamber - Session Five

Petzholdt

 

The Human Jack Fatherd, the Halfling Roddy Applecreek, and the Elves Aphono and Datura took the Last Round north, up a tributary river toward the mandrake plantation. The sun rose and scorpions scuttled from beneath the stones dotting the rocky hamada beyond the riverbank. A couple hours north of the rock pile the shore was studded with warning signs. RISK OF INSTANT DEATH - THIS MEANS YOU. Pictures of men covering their ears or dying as a plant headed man emerged from the earth.

 

Riverboat Gamber - Session Four

 

Roddy, Jack, Datura and Zigar shopped at the Potion Addict. They bought food, reagents to make hand grenades, and contemplated buying a Potion of Water Breathing. If someone swam under the Destroyer cult boat with an explosive charge they could detonate it at the same time as Roddy cleared the blockage in the river, letting the Gamblers proceed without fear of pursuit. The Bullywugs dissuaded them. The narrowboat was pulled by huge marine worms who would smell intruders and attack them underwater.

 

The Gamblers waited until dawn when the sun scraped the rubble pile clean of swarming undead. Roddy and his team planted the barrel while the adventurers at the bar, the Blackmath cultists and even the tribes of the plain looked on in anticipation. The blast created a big wave and a plume of water and debris, which the cultists eagerly sped into aboard their narrowboat, urging the worms into the spray and accepting minor casualties from the falling stones as the price of doing business. The Last Round spooled up the propellers and raced after them, taking the three mutants rescued from the Barbican along for the ride.

 

Riverboat Gambler - Session Three

Aphono, Datura, Jack, Roddy and Zigar got in a longboat and crossed the river to the cliff where the red energy blast had opened a hole into the dungeon within. They rowed and hiked and climbed up the talus pile formed by the explosion and when they got to the hole they found tracks leading inside. Someone had beat them to it as they crossed over from the Mastaba. Two groups of humanoids.

 
Someone shouted from deeper in the underground complex. Another muffled explosion followed it, making the cliff shake.

Riverboat Gambler - Session Two

van der Poel

 

Aphono, Jack, Roddy and Datura sailed up the River Hog through the night. The night brought Ghouls who howled from the riverbanks at the blue glow illuminating the steam from the reactor, thinking it a third moon. Dawn brought giant scorpions out from under the rocks on shore. By day they came across a Grain Cult gunboat, shorn of its mast and anchored by the muddy riverbank. Captain Belkin of the Bread Box explained to the Gamblers that Aldrich's barge of Giants had crippled their vessel with a thrown lightning bolt from extreme range. They were patrolling the river for him and for other hazards, such as the Blue Dragon flying overhead or the savage tribes infesting the desert beyond. The Gamblers hitched the Bread Box to the Last Round and towed them upriver to the nearest village. The Iron Cup outlet served coffee and the Halflings played marching songs with Datura.

Riverboat Gambler - Session One

Five adventurers gathered on the deck of the timberclad gunboat Last Round as it sailed up the Hog delta and into the mouth of the river proper.

• Aphono, Elf
• Datura, Elf
• Jack Fatherd, Coureur des bois
• Roddy Applecreek, Mad bomber
• Zigar Kneecapper, Reformed thug

Their mission: to hunt down and kill the criminal mastermind Aldrich Deathsbane, human king of Giants, and claim the bounty on his hide. With them, a crew of nineteen Halflings and a single human. Survivors from Roddy's village or the surrounding farms destroyed by the Giants during the Marriage of the Giantess Morwenna. They brought muskets, magic spells, a pair of swivel guns and a cannon mounted to a rotating turret. They sailed under steam, powered by a slime that heated water poured into a boiler. 

The land around the river was cut with wadis and arroyos, channels where the river once flowed. A caravan of wild camels came to the shore to drink, drawing curious Halflings. Distant mountains gleamed marble-white to the southwest. The chaotic terrain gave way to flat plains and an oasis where the adventurers watched a crimson death worm ambush a wallowing wildebeest, then fall beneath the hooves and horns of its fellow ungulates. Most life on the Plain was concentrated around the river and after the wildebeest came herd of elephants. The Hobbits were astonished. Some pointed their guns, afraid that they might shoot fire from their trunks or launch their tusks like flying spears. Jack reassured them. Elephants were herbivores, gentle and even kind unless roused to a killing frenzy by a threat to the herd.

 

The elephants thought the boat was another elephant. The calves trumpeted and the adults flicked their ears in a futile attempt at communication.

 

Against Surprise?

I've been thinking about surprise attacks in RPGs. Rather than making up caricatures and laundering my opinions through imaginary critics, I'll go straight to listing some games and how they handle the subject.

Bonus Cleric Post: The Black Mariahs

Hutter

They looked ridiculous at a dead run. Sexless yet sensual with protective codpieces and pigeon breasted armor and thighs enormous from carrying it up endless flights of stairs and ramps and cornices. The crowd parted before them. Nobody wanted to get within arm's reach. Even brushing against them was enough to sever fingers, break bones, shave skin off muscle. Their falling bevors were peeled down so they could breathe easy as they ran and one of them had no lips and drooled steam through the gap in their perfect teeth. 

The largest one had no weapon and carried a dented shield painted with a woman embracing a barbed devil with the text HELL CAN'T BURN ME MORE THAN THIS encircling the act. The smallest wore a quilted jacket and had a carrion crawler wrapped around their shoulders like a stole. The bug held on tight with its tarsal claws but resisted the instinct to luxuriantly stroke the exposed mouth with its fluttering tentacles. To kiss and then to feed.

The middle one carried a gun. The inside of the barrel glowed, lit blue and purple by the charge rammed down the wide mouthed bore. An explosion already in progress held back only by the thin layer of sealing wax that kept the bullets from falling out.
 
Ahead of them was the terrace. The urban canyon that separated the Company neighborhoods from the wafer-thin alleys of red lit Elftown on the other side. The big one casually bundled the others into their arms without slowing. They both reached behind the giant's neck and held on to the dragstrap protruding between the gorget and backplate like a tongue of black leather. The brute pushed off with a single foot that left a cracked footprint in the yellow stone.

The moment held suspended in the air was a perk of the job, equivalent or better than the sex and potions and winning fights and the embrace of the Flesh God who drank the pain like water. To feel protected by armor and the thick body of the fighter. To fly. Over the Mulch at the bottom of the swale to the narrow balcony on the other side. Stumbling down the chute to another room that smelled like blood. Bathing, drowning in the heat and sweat of love.

Against Torches

You ever tell someone you don’t like [food], and they tell you “no you just haven’t had GOOD [food]”? So you go to the restaurant they tell you and order the thing they tell you and, surprise surprise, you still don’t like it? 

That’s me with tracking torches. For years I’ve considered it a waste of time. And whenever I tell anyone this they say “torches are good, you just have to make tracking light matter!”

Clerics in Begone, FOE!

A few days ago Prismatic Wasteland put out a call for posts about about Clerics. I'm going to talk about Clerics in my personal fantasy heartbreaker Begone, FOE! I've been workshopping alternate names like Loot Bastards or Slop and Splendor but nothing has emerged as a frontrunner. This post serves as an important reminder that I should get back to work on Revision 15.