Appendix N 2026 Bonus Dungeon: Hung Over and Harassed

 

In His Majesty The Worm there are a lot of city events that, if taken seriously, would be an entire adventure in themselves. The book chides the reader not to play out these adventures because it could turn the campaign into a “town game”.

Guess what we’re doing today?

Appendix N 2026 Dungeon: Clerics of the Carmine Dawn

The Clerics of the Carmine Dawn have tidally locked the planet. The sunlit side will boil. The nightside will freeze. Only a band of twilight will remain habitable unless a scratch team of heroes can infiltrate the Clerics’ Tower.

Appendix N 2026 Bonus Dungeon: The Essence of Eblis

 

Before God taught man the divine art of water creation, the desert was ruled by the Djinn. They called storms as they pleased, bringing rain to their worshipers and drought to those who defied them. One such Djinni was Eblis.

 

Dune 2d20 Whalefall - Playtest 2

DrFaustusAU

 

Bene Gesserit Sister Wilhelmina fell. Her shuttle down to Giedi Prime exploded in flight and her sealed capsule fell out of the sky, stuttering descent barely slowed by the sporadic activations of the emergency suspensors. The suspensors failed entirely and the capsule fell the rest of the way. She was ready for the impact but an unsecured object left by the flight crew struck her in the throat, crushing her hyoid bone at the most inappropriate time. She was at no risk of suffocating thanks to her excellent physical control, but the injury prevented her from using the Voice.

The first thing she noticed was the stink, like a thousand animals being melted in a giant vat. She calculated that the shuttle must have been flying over the megafarms outside Harko. She levered the door open and was confronted with the reeking whalefields of House Texoco, confirming her suspicions. Cetaceans dangled from enormous derricks, penetrated with tubes that siphoned precious bodily fluids through pipelines to an enormous tryworks in the distance. The rendering plant sent up enormous clouds of foul smelling smoke, mingling with the sooty sky that reflected sunlight from all angles like a greasy mirror.

Chaak Tlaxxon, son of the Jaeger Katl Tlaxxon, and the Jaeger's Spymaster Vagar watched the falling star from a sniper tower overlooking the whalefields. Vagar called it in to Brine, Captain of the Guard. Brine promised the militia would ventilate the escape pod with bullets, killing anyone inside so that they wouldn't be tortured to death by their overlords in House Texoco. Chaak immediately dragged Vagar into his hotrodded grain hauler and swooped down to the crash site, heading off the massacre.

 

Brigador Killers Demo On Steam

I haven't written a ton of RPG stuff in the last month or two because I'm doing some guest writing on a video game called Brigador Killers. The devs have been hard at work on the game for almost a decade and just released a demo on Steam. You can play it here. Have fun!

His Majesty The Worm: Day of the Newts Playtest

Traveling mountebank Bartoc the Orc and his wife Mary the Alchemist woke at their camp site to find Mary's mother, Salamandra "Sherry the Mage" Hakkapeliitta, missing. In her place were a set of webbed footprints leading into a fissure in the nearby rock face that definitely wasn't there last night. They thought about retrieving Mary's father Lorikeet "Larry the Mage Hakkapeliitta and her sister Tansy Hakkapeliitta from the nearby town where they were staying. They decided to err on the side of speed and went into the cave after mom.

 

The Colonel's Table: Finale

 

On the eleventh day the Coterie launched its offensive against the Court. Ed Vespier was reeling from the events at the Bible Museum. Sebastian Gentry was dead, his agricultural agents uninterested in pursuing the feud further. The Cadre knew where the Court's next shipment of Special Orders would arrive. The Burger Queen's allies were in disarray and violating the treaty was worth it because they believed they could win.  

 

The FBI Agent's files showed that the truck carrying the charged burgers necessary for the Court to manufacture Special Orders would travel through town along the state highway to the East Wenatchee restaurant. The local cops were subverted by the Cadre through Arch and Rob, they'd allow it as long as the violence didn't escalate to a level they couldn't ignore. Cameron Wilson the labor organizer had already laid the foundations two nights prior for an anti ICE demonstration which would block the road at that time. Jazzy Boulevard the mad bomber made an IED and stuffed it in a backpack for the Cadre to use. 

 

Following the death of Deacon Moses the night before, Hank, Fonz and Pagan were assigned the mission. The refrigerated truck carrying the Court's Special Orders would stop in traffic and they would either secure the load of charged meat inside or deny it to the enemy. The Cadre hired Sauza the Bridge Troll to provide backup. They gave him two Special Orders out of their three for the night and he agreed to bring a brute squad of his most trusted hobos and fentanyl addicts. The rest of the Coterie would go after the Court operation in East Wenatchee. Keep Alice, Neal and the Lost Boys busy. 

 

Unknown Armies - Holiday in Caledonia Playtest 2

Douzette

 
The year was 410 AD. The place was a veteran colony, founded by retired legionnaires in the far north of Roman Britain. For years there had been no news from Londinium in the south. For months there had been no news even from the nearest villas and towns to the frontier. This year’s harvest was bad. Winter was fast approaching. Starvation was a real possibility.

Two sixty year old Roman dads who founded the colony met in a drystone hut to figure out what to do about it. They won the wrestling match to decide who got to leave the colony and now they had to decide where to search for food while their comrades in arms held down the fort.

• Martial, Freedman and camp doctor
• Rusticus, Latinized Gothic barbarian 

The Veterans huddled over a table in Martial's drystone house and used objects to build a simulacra of the terrain around them as they made plans for the expedition. Martial's barbarian wife Saturnia poured beer and served a dish of bread and pickles. The marshes to the southeast might still have animals they could hunt. The rural villa to the southwest might have food they could buy. The rustic summer estate was only a day's march away but the Veterans rarely visited. They had bartered before, even taken their families to stay at the owner's invitation. But something had soured the Veterans on the jumped-up Romano Briton and the Freedman who ran the place for the ten months out of the year that the Caledonian highlands were too cold for southerners.

 

They decided to visit the villa anyway. Feeding their family was more important than their personal pride, and if he wouldn't sell them food they could rob him.

Fighting Fantasy Introductory RPG: Into The Nest

Enormous burrowing insects have exposed the entrance to an ancient tomb. Only a greedy fool would descend into the bug infested hole to pillage the treasure therein. 

 

Unknown Armies Playtest - Holiday in Caledonia

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His Majesty The Worm - Pile of Blades Masterpost

Pile of Blades is a city and undercity I wrote for His Majesty The Worm. I played through it in seven sessions, about one for each realm of the Undercity.

 

OSE Encounter Activities Test Drive: Fumigation of the Escheated Wizard Tower

After the death of the Monarch, the assets of his supporters were seized and redistributed to benefit the victims of his tyranny. The tower of the wizard Cloudkill, one of the Old King’s archmages from the College of Wands, was given to a pair of mutants who fought alongside the rebels. The retired partisans hired mercenaries to clear the “squatters” out of their dream home. The magical monsters are more than the hired guns can handle.

OSE Encounter Activities Test Drive: Shadowdance of the Lizard Corsairs

Walter Martishius

Lizard pirates sail to a secluded cove and hatch a sinister plan at an ancient temple. The local wildlife doesn’t cooperate.

Creature Cache Test Drive: Honey Trap of the Planeswalking Soulmaster

The Hanged King cynically founded numerous enclosed orders of nuns, drawn from the widows and orphans created by his endless wars, whose sole purpose in life was to be sacrificed to him and increase his magic power. The Elixir of Life religion was created as a ploy by the Tower of Pain, one of the newly founded Commonwealth’s largest religious corporations, as a ploy to absorb these directionless death cultists who no longer had anything to die for after the King was killed. It was impossible to talk that many religious fanatics into moving on with their lives, the best the Tower could do was offer them a more prosocial cause to die for.

Creature Compendium Test Drive: Volcanic Vent of the Pukwudgie Potentate

Our story takes us north of the Thousand Lakes, to the great ice sheet which covers the Cursed Mountains. These enormous spires lie frozen under vast glaciers, summits periodically exposed by magical fire events, deliberate excavation, or natural geologic activity. The melted peaks draw explorers to the extraordinarily hostile frozen wasteland in search of the ancient treasures concealed therein. As magic and science advance, so to do adventurers into the frozen north, drawing ever closer to the heart of the ice.

C Series Session 5: Cerebro Cerebro Cerebro

Grenthrum and Roddy took Colette, Condition Killer and La Mal back through the portal to the tomb at Hogman's Plain. Colette wanted to wipe out the Gnolls on the first floor and find the bones of her friends for a Holy Mountain burial. The Threshers wanted severed Gnoll heads as proof of work, to advance their position in the Grain Cult. Grenthrum and Roddy wanted money.

The Threshers cleared the portal. The adventurers followed them through.

C Series Session 4: Cerebro Cerebro Cerebro

 

Doctor Pleroma hired two mercenaries to assist the Mad Bomber Roddy Applecreek and the Hundred Hand Wizard Delgal Haberkorn in their exploration of the tomb on the other side of the portal. They needed warriors, so warriors is what he brought: the Cleric Condition Killer and the Fighter La Mal, Threshers from the Grain Cult. He took care of procurement and payment as thanks for the adventurers heeding his wishes and not hiring any of the patients.

Condition Killer explained that the adventurers were welcome to any treasure they found, but they needed to turn over any monster corpses to him and his colleague for dismemberment. Receipts like ears and heads could be claimed for bounty, while other parts could be sold as magical reagents. Roddy filled them and Delgal in on what waited for them on the other side of the portal: Intellect Devourers, Gnolls, alien super-science and maybe even another portal.

As frontline fighters, the Threshers went through the portal first. After a moment on the other side, Condition Killer came back through to give the all clear. The adventurers followed him through into the tomb.

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna - Epilogue

Flying away from the wreckage of the wedding as fast as possible, Jack Fatherd received a telepathic message through the talking sword Agia, given him by the Cave Elf Carnamagos prior to his final mission against the Giants. His handler in the Hundred Hands, using the mated sword Agillus, asked him for a report on the mission. Jack reported that Morwenna was dead, the Giant Cleric and his servitors were dead, the Red Ball mages were dead, but Aldrich and the Brazenkragg Agents escaped. Jack got an image from the guy on the other end of the line. A man sitting in front of four plates, two of them filled with cakes. The man was smiling. The next image was Jack's next mission: a room full of people, hands soaked in purple grape must, stabbing Aldrich to death. 

 

But that would have to wait, because Jack needed to take care of the Giant Bat who almost died. If his asshole Case Officer wanted it done faster than that, he could come down here and do it himself.   

 

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna Session Ten

Four of the victorious Lute Bastards attended the Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna.

• Aldrich Brisbane the Groom
• Laguna Tempest the Mage
• Zigar Kneecapper the Thug
• Grimm Dundragon the Ranger

The wedding was on the lakeshore, where slaves had set up tents with food and an open bar. Grimm was already drunk, courtesy of the Red Ball mages who insisted he get wasted. Laguna tried to convince the student wizards to cast a protection spell on him, but they were no longer in his employ and wouldn't go for it. Zigar talked with the numerous soldiers running security for the event. They explained that they had a combat scribe with a scroll of ESP to judge the intent of the guests and prevent any assassination plots. The mage read the scroll but the alcohol coursing through Grimm's brains protected his thoughts. 

 

Houdini came over to remonstrate with Aldrich. Morwenna had picked out her sister Dora to witness the consummation of the marriage, and the Mummy needed to know who Aldrich would bring. He chose Datura, because she was a notary or because he thought it would be funny. He'd actually met Dora previously, even helped her escape the Manor of the Giant Arminius alongside her real father Pendergast the Wizard. Technically she was only Morwenna's half-sister, though that wasn't public knowledge. Aldrich looked over at Dora and Pendergast, who were giving Morwenna an early wedding present: a box filled with eggs. Morwenna wore a tight robe made from the skin of a dozen saber tooth cats, which could barely contain her body. Dora said something Aldrich couldn't hear, and Morwenna's face contorted in an expression of unforced wonder and delight. She picked up her half-sister and hugged her.

The Giantess put Dora down. Her face assumed its usual affectless sneer. She caught Aldrich staring. Licked her lips. The Giant Cleric Kadminion, emissary from the Godsfeast Abbey, announced it was time for the main event. 

 

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna Session Nine

 

On the day of the Tournament of the Giantess Morwenna, Delgal Haberkorn the Student Wizard woke up early to exchange the ancient weapons the Lute Bastards found in the swamp with the archaeologists. The archaeologists' camp at the Iron Cup franchise was a day's travel to the southwest, but Delgal had a hunch that they had already relocated to the event venue for the Tournament.

Delgal's hike proved uneventful and his hunch proved right. Menmen and Glorietta were happy to receive the weapons and armor from the prehistoric zombies, especially the boar tusk helmet with the skull still inside. In exchange, Delgal chose a Cloak of Protection from the archaeologists' stash. He spotted a number of familiar and unfamiliar faces crowding the food stalls outside the stadium, where Houdini the Mummy had tossed an orb of diamond vision that projected images of enormous size. The preacher Big Eclipse, the Ettin and Houdini himself all made appearances, as well as a ten foot giantess and a human wizard waiting in line to buy snails and beer. As he left with his new cloak, he saw a Giant in the vestments of the God King's clergy approaching the stadium, accompanied by an entourage of half-giants.

Delgal made his way to the assigned start point for the Bastards, where he was joined by

• Aldrich Brisbane the Fighter
  
• Laguna Tempest the Mage
  
• Zigar Kneecapper the Thug
  
• Datura the Elf
• Grimm Dundragon the Ranger

And let's not forget their entourage

• The Stone Golems Rough and Tumble
• Ganga the Acrobat, Charmed by Laguna
  
• Two Owlbears, ensorceled by Grimm's ring of Control Animal
  

And their mercenaries

• The Giff artillerymen of The Cannon's Thunder
  
• Chelicera the Bard, beloved daughter of The Decapitator
• The Panzerbjorn and their three suits of necrotic tadigrade armor 
• Median the Yellow and his Killer Bees
• The Myconids and hooded killers of Black Mask
• The student wizards of Red Ball and their wands of Magic Missile
  

The group went over their plans and waited anxiously for the games to begin.