Unknown Armies Shotgun Scenario: INSTANT LOSS

 

The z-list joshi puro promotion INSTANT LOSS Puroresu. As low as you can go in Japanese women’s professional wrestling and still be above ground. A place to see stuff the bigger promotions can’t get away with anymore. Cheap gimmicks, sleaze and disastrous fuckups. A place a woman works if she’s desperate to break into the business, or has no other options.

WRESTLERS

Create a wrestler who works for INSTANT LOSS Puroresu. Decide how she pissed off management, and how house shooter Lady Strong punished her for it. Standard 120 point build, no magickal identities.

Or start with one of these jobbers. Anyone not taken by a player will appear as an NPC.

FUMIE
Ethnicity: Japanese
Role: Face
Gimmick: Barefoot Nun.
Signature Move: Crucifix Powerbomb
Crime: Rebuffing the Booker’s sexual harassment.
Punishment: Ejected naked from the locker room in front of the crowd by Lady Strong.

HACKSAW
Ethnicity: Indonesian (Saudi in kayfabe)
Role: Heel
Gimmick: Arabian Nights.
Signature Move: Head Slicer (Mongolian Chop)
Crime: Pay dispute with the Booker over stolen wages.
Punishment: Fingers broken in “botched” submission hold by Lady Strong.

KALI
Ethnicity: Filipina (Indian in kayfabe)
Role: Heel
Gimmick: Goddess of Destruction.
Signature Move: Corpse Dance (Garvin Stomp)
Crime: Attempting to steal her passport back from the Booker.
Punishment: Ribs cracked in “botched” throw by Lady Strong.

SHINU YUBI
Ethnicity: Japanese/Korean
Role: Tweener
Gimmick: Yakuza Antihero (lost her right pinky to farm equipment)
Signature Move: DDT
Crime: Consuming alcohol in off-time (Idol wrestlers must uphold strict standards of morality)
Punishment: Ongoing campaign of sexual harassment by Lady Strong.

STAR DOM
Ethnicity: Japanese
Role: Face
Gimmick: Dominatrix
Signature Move: Face-Sitting (Headscissors)
Crime: Threatening to eclipse Lady Strong in popularity.
Punishment: Cornered in the locker room, beaten and feet whipped by Lady Strong.

YANKI
Ethnicity: Japanese/White
Role: Heel
Gimmick: Delinquent
Signature Move: Foreign Object
Crime: Getting caught dating (Idol wrestlers must maintain the illusion of availability)
Punishment: Boyfriend hospitalized by beating from Lady Strong.

The wrestlers’ mission is get back at Lady Strong, in a way she can’t retaliate against and won’t cost their jobs. They’ve got an hour before they need to be in the locker room.

 

THE VENUE

INSTANT LOSS is taping at the Sanshouo Lodge community center, in an ex-mining town in the northern wastes of Hokkaido. It’s snowing but people are queued outside.

The lobby has an old guy checking tickets at the door. A concessions table with a middle aged woman selling popcorn, grocery store bento, sake and beer. Part timers selling merch.

The gym is normally used for high school sports. Folding chairs set up around the ring, cheap seats in the bleachers. 200 people in the stands when the show begins

Two locker rooms connected to the gym. One actually used by the wrestlers, the other just a place to walk into the arena from.

 

THE EVENT

Add or sub wrestlers created by the players.

Pre Show: Lady Strong poses for the fans and lets children hang onto her arms while she flexes. Hacksaw chops a watermelon balanced on Fumie’s abdomen using a big sword.

Undercard: Mad Arab Hacksaw vs Barefoot Nun Fumie.

Hacksaw gets the better of Fumie, stripping most of her habit and crucifying her on a balsawood cross - which the Nun breaks and uses to smite Hacksaw.

Mid Card: Tag team match, pitting Shin Yubi and Yanki against Star Dom and Lady Strong.

Star Dom sticks to the script, expertly stripping Yanki and using her tie like a collar. Lady Strong gets unnecessarily handsy with the Yakuza, grabbing her vulva through during throws, tweaking her nipples during holds.

The villains win through treachery. Star Dom pins Shin Yubi with a leg lock around her face, but Yanki rolls a fluorescent light into the ring, which the hoodlum swings at the dominatrix to break the grapple. The ref is “distracted” and doesn’t see the foreign object, allowing Shin Yubi to seize the initiative and “KO” Star Dom with a DDT.

Main Event: Lady Strong vs Kali.

Kali stuns Lady Strong with an underhanded “cobra death strike” and does her signature Corpse Dance on the prone luchadora. Lady Strong grabs her by the ankle and whips her to the mat. The reversal incenses the other heels, who rush into the ring to aid the Goddess of Death. The faces storm the ring as the Ref bellows for order and attempts to eject them.

Star Dom bends Hacksaw over and spanks her. Shinu Yubi turns on Yanki and boots her out of the ring, stopping her from dispatching Fumie with a folding chair. Lady Strong lifts Kali for an Izuna Drop through a table. It’s scripted but Kali panics, thinking Lady Strong is going to break her ribs. Lady Strong restrains her for real, thinking she’s being uncooperative. She unhooks Kali’s bra and shows the audience her tits as “punishment”, making it look like a scripted wardrobe malfunction. The Booker makes a rare appearance in the ring, striking with a paper fan to restore order.

The debacle ends with Lady Strong triumphant atop the piled remains of the three villains, while Shinu Yubi proves her “loyalty” by tonguing Fumie’s toes.

 

 

THE SCREWJOB

The Wrestlers could…

• Assault Lady Strong outside the ring. Hard to do deniably and a hard fight to win. She’s tough and can cast My Buddies to conscript help from fans and NPC wrestlers bullied into submission.
• Deal Lady Strong a career ending injury in a way that makes it look like she screwed up herself. Or sabotage the venue so a fresnel light falls on her.
• Find out Lady Strong’s passions and coerce her so she flies into a rage and assaults someone. or freezes at an inopportune moment and gets seriously injured.
• Sabotage her push. Lower her standing in the promotion so the fans aren’t interested and she’ll lose the ability to sig charge. She’ll punish you after, but she’ll be a normal human being.

NPC wrestlers are afraid of Lady Strong, they won’t team up against her without being browbeaten into it. The managers will happily plot against her for a hotdog and a handjob.

NPCS

BOOKER

Sleazy booker and owner Musashi got into this business to live out a fantasy of exploiting a harem of muscle women. He keeps the business side limping along to enjoy the perks. A good writer but a bad director, counting on Lady Strong to get the best performance out of his girls and “resolve” conflicts. Serves as the announcer during matches, like a combination carnival barker and auctioneer.

 

FANS
Among the attendees are a handful of hardcore fans.

• Himiko is a huge fan of Lady Strong and will gush about her at length. She knows the Lady’s obsession, rage, noble and fear passions.
• Tsuyoshi is a wrestling podcaster and amateur occultist, he believes Lady Strong literally gains power from “winning” in front of a crowd.
• Kiyotaka always roots for the villains because they’re the sexiest. Knows everything about lighting, cameras, sound and electrical systems.

LADY STRONG
Known internally as “Lady Stretch” for her ability to inflict real injury. Most popular wrestler in the promotion. Killer body, great stage presence, genuinely skilled in both worked and real fighting. A competent and safe worker when she isn’t deliberately hurting someone. Strong believer in discipline, especially in other people.

Ethnicity: Japanese
Role: Face
Gimmick: Masked Wrestler (and Culteurge)
Signature Move: Piledriver
Crime: Practicing magick that requires her to win physical contests in front of a crowd.
Punishment: Grinding out sig charges in a z-list promotion with no prospect of advancement, taking out her frustrations on people who upset her crybaby pervert boss.

 

Yuasa Masaaki

MANAGERS
Glorified roadies who play the wrestlers’ managers, everyone calls Iwazaru, Kikazaru and Mizaru. They swap costumes as necessary between matches - turban for Hacksaw, gimp mask for Star Dom, etc. The trio work for cheap, and for “favors” squeezed out of the wrestlers. The Booker encourages them, but sends Lady Strong to straighten them out if they go too far.