Unknown Armies Play Report: The Cage Cup

Lucilla was holding a Bacchanal at her villa rustica in the countryside outside Rome. The Domina Fabia, an initiated member of the mysteries, graciously volunteered to provide the sacrificial bull for the night’s illegal festivities. That's why four of her slaves found themselves leading the stupid thing down the dirt road at the eleventh hour of the night, with the cicadas buzzing in the vines and the road of milk pointing down like a lightning bolt in the night sky to the bright shining house on the hill in the dark in the middle of the field.

 

 

The four slaves were

• Brennus the Gallic Butcher
• Gyges the Greek Teacher
• Joseph the Jewish Gladiator
• Scribonia the Latin Thief

Their instructions were to deliver the sacrificial bull and do whatever else the Domina required of them that night. None of them were looking forward to it, either. They had never been to one of these events but they had a nasty reputation.

Torches of sulfur and charcoal lit the crescent-shaped porch in blue and yellow. A handful of revelers leaned against walls, dozed beneath the columned portico, or vomited in the alcoves. Brennus cajoled the sacrificial bull up the stairs to the entrance. Gyges didn't waste any time bullshitting with the event staff. He collared an intoxicated Iberian and demanded to know where the Domina was. The guy slurred that she was somewhere in the house, then immediately freaked out at what he saw behind the newly arrived Slaves.

 

Announced by the rattle of chainmail and the leather strop-sound of straight swords leaving scabbards, a cohort of soldiers in armor emerged from the vineyards in the dark beyond the villa. The wall of shields closed on the columned porch. A drunken Patrician shouted indignantly at them and got a gladius through the heart, his purple magisterial stripe not enough to save him from the Legionaries' killing intent.

 

Uninterested in being killed on the spot, tortured for testimony or crucified, the Slaves hustled through the front entrance to the villa, driving the bull ahead of them with his goad.

 

Inside, an androgynous man in a bearded Bacchus mask hastily barred the door behind the Slaves. In his haste he toppled a nearby tripod, scattering burning coals and raising a cloud of tyrian purple smoke. He didn't expect the barricade to hold forever, but encouraged the group to take a drink before heading further into the villa. The Domina was probably in the basilica, at the other end of the building. Joseph and Brennus drank, while Gyges and Scribonia elected to stay sober. The Jew and the Gaul felt the hand of Bacchus touch them on the forehead, opening their third eye and granting them magick powers every time they drank alcohol. 

 

The next room was a rectangular courtyard full of heaped rose petals, pink and red and white. Throngs of revelers, all men, stood or lay around in various states of undress and intoxication. A decorative fountain dribbled wine into a stone basin. In the center of the chamber, a throng of drunken patricians watched a burly freedman vigorously sodomize an elderly senator on a low couch. There were no women present, which struck the Slaves as odd - they had never been to a Bacchanal before but they had heard all about the Liberator's all-female clergy. The intoxicated partygoers assumed that Scribonia, the lone female among the Slaves, was there to entertain them sexually. She decided to play along and picked out the wealthiest looking octogenarian, intent on stealing his amethyst signet ring. She lured him through the arched entrance to the nearby bathing complex while the rest of the Slaves puzzled over the door to the dining room, which was locked and barred.

The changing room in the bath complex was empty, but filled with discarded clothing and valuables. The lecherous old guy immediately lost interest in Scribonia, entranced by the sound of singing coming from the chamber beyond. She took the opportunity to knock him unconscious with a wine goblet to the head, then stole all his valuables. Back in the peristyle, the other Slaves figured out how to open the door to the triclinium. Brennus the Gaul attached the bull's rope halter to the door, then induced him to charge in the opposite direction. The partygoers scattered out of the way and the angry beast yanked the big door off its hinges. On the other side was a room full of Bacchantes, wild women covered in blood from the dismembered human corpses littering the dining tables. They stood there wide eyed, staring at the room full of drunk men with killing intent. Someone threw a wine goblet. The enraged Maenads charged, attacking with their claws. The remaining Slaves fled into the baths after Scribonia.

 

Scribonia had already denuded the changing room of riches by the time the others arrived, and the four Slaves proceeded further into the baths, uninterested in joining the bloodshed in the previous room or being caught by the soldiers once they broke through the door. The next room had a large swimming pool filled with cold water and corpses. The dead men were shackled to a bench with fetters that could easily be removed by the wearer, were he in his right mind to do so. Half were drowned and half were dead by violence, beaten and clawed to death by the hands of the men bound next to them. Scribonia was really spooked, but Gyges talked some sense into her. He was getting serious Odyssey vibes from the whole situation, especially because of the big curtain at the end of the room, from which muffled singing was audible.

 

Joseph noticed a loose floor tile, which led down into a crawlspace below the bath complex. It was completely dark, but some Dipsomancy random magick allowed him to stumble into the furnace room at the end of the chamber, where a single hot coal still smoldered in an oven below the floor. Brennus used the coal to set a piece of cloth ablaze, converting his ox goad to a makeshift torch so he could better observe the furnace room. There wasn't a way out, so he assumed it was just a dead end. Back in the pool room, the bull went for a swim in the water. Gyges instructed the group to plug their ears, and they peeked through the curtain where the singing was coming from.

In the next chamber, an enormous jellyfish floated in a pool of cold water, gnawing on a corpse. The beast was chained to prevent it crawling out of the pool like an octopus, but it reached out of the water with questing tentacles, running them along the ostentatious mosaic tiling. Atop the bell was a transparent effigy of a woman, from which came the singing the Slaves heard through the curtain. There was a door on the other side of the room, but crossing would bring them in reach of the monster's tentacles, which wasn't ideal judging by the partially digested skeletons visible through its membrane. Brennus probed the monster with his flaming stick and it recoiled. Gyges realized that the crawlspace under the room was a hypocaust, designed to heat the pool. The Slaves stoked the flame in the underground room back to life and steam cooked the monster, dispatching the siren without the need for combat. They fled into the room beyond before the soldiers arrived.

The baths led into the triclinium that the Slaves inadvertently released the Bacchantes from earlier. The room was empty except for a single cultist and the freedman, who lay together on a low couch and shamelessly fed each other doormice dipped in honey. They weren't interested in the Slaves, but suggested they check the basilica if they were interested in finding the Domina. Before they left, the group noted an interesting mural on the wall, depicting Bacchus trampling the prone body of a king while sipping from a goblet covered in vines.

From one of Paizo's house artists, I couldn't find a credit for which one.

The next room was the basilica, the throne room. The chamber had an arched ceiling and large windows, columns of exotic marble and a mosaic floor. A glass cup covered in sculpted vines lay discarded next to a stone throne. Dismembered pieces of a woman the Slaves recognized as their owner were strewn around the room. A woman clad only in a panther skin held the Domina’s still-living head in her hands, speaking softly to it. Behind all that, an open door looked out over the vineyards below.

The Slaves were stunned by the display of overt supernatural power, as the Domina's disassembled parts were all clearly alive despite being ripped asunder. Gyges alone stood firm, and talked some sense into the rest of the gang. This prompted a debate about what to do next. Joseph wasn't interested in rescuing the Domina, or really continuing to be a slave to the Romans at all. Brennus felt similarly, and Gyges was concerned that if the soldiers caught him in a room with the disassembled woman he'd be blamed for the crime. Joseph and Brennus used drinking magick to make a good first impression on the woman holding the Domina's head. The Matron suggested they leave before they got caught. Scribonia grabbed the discarded cup, a glass goblet twined with sculpted vines.

 

Scribonia took a sip of wine from the cup. The power of the Liberator surged through her. The Matron told her to drop it if she wanted to leave the room alive. Scribonia refused and the Matron tore one of her arms off. She reached for her other arm, and Scribonia pulverized her with a blast, sending the cult leader tumbling into the carven throne and knocking her unconscious. The one armed thief kicked the Bacchante until she saw brains, finishing her off in a blood frenzy worthy of Bacchus himself.

 

The Domina's still living head pleaded with the slaves to reassemble her, silently begging though she had no lungs to speak. Brennus used his knowledge of butchery to line up the veins and arteries, slotting the severed parts back together. Scribonia stole one of the Domina's arms and reattached it to her own stump. She fled out the back with Gyges and Joseph, taking the goblet with them. 

 

 

The terraced gardens behind the Basilica led down into the vineyards of the sprawling rural estate. The stars winked above, answered by their reflections in the swords of the soldiers patrolling the endless rows of grapes. Scribonia, Joseph and Gyges tried to run, but were blocked by a wall of interlocking shields. Among them was a Senator, clad in the white toga of his office yet unencumbered by the heavy garment's overelaborate drapery. He offered to let the Slaves go if they handed over the cage cup they found in the villa. The freshly reassembled Domina yelled out from the basilica that the Slaves should not hand over the cage cup, the Senator would stab them in the back the second he got hold of it. Joseph said he would hand the cup over at the edge of the vineyard. The Senator agreed with this, and had his soldiers form a skirmish line around the Slaves. To "escort" them out.

 

Joseph drained the rest of the wine in the cage cup. They reached the forest at the edge of the field, and he knelt to put the cup on the ground. He spent all his sig charges to knock the entire cohort of legionaries down in an ignominious pratfall, smashed the cage cup to pieces and took off running. Scribonia escaped in the confusion. Gyges fell and Joseph picked him up, hauling him out of the encirclement and to freedom. The Domina and Brennus escaped while the soldiers were distracted dealing with the rest of the Escapees.