His Majesty The Worm - Session 4

Four adventurers hiked up Hangman's Hill for the Elite Underman Excavation Company's next adventure.

• Breadrick Bravebelly, Halfling Rogue
• Constantina Leadcutter, Halfling Duelist
  
• Gyrfalcon "Gary the Mage" Hakkapeliitta, Human Mage
• Hyacinth "Cindy" Hakkapeliitta, Human Brewer
  

Their destination was the Kick at the Clouds, a historic tavern where condemned prisoners once received their last drink before going to the gallows. The Troll Witte Boiledsyrup had a job for him. The Red Claw gang, a Guild of Orcs, were squatting in his basement. Not only did they refuse to leave, they drank wine from his cellar without paying. They must have found treasure or an entrance to the undercity down there, because they had enough money to pay prostitutes and food vendors who periodically visited them. If the Undermen got rid of them they could keep any treasure they found in the basement, aside for the booze which belonged to Witte.

Gary negotiated an increased fee for the job and the Guild took a look at Witte's map of the cellar. As long as they were down there, the group decided to pursue Cindy's personal quest and search for alchemical reagents to enhance her lackluster attempts at homebrewing.

The landing on the first level smelled of smoke, wafting from the stairs down to the next floor where light was visible and the sounds of conversation could be heard. Gary went down the stairs and found a bunch of empty wine bottles. He knelt to taste the spilled wine for quality and accidentally knocked one over. A nuisance of Goblins in the next room paused their dice game. The rest of the Guild came down the stairs to reinforce Gary, who tried to parlay with the Goblins. One of them ran down the stairs to the next level while the others nervously told him he needed to leave.

A familiar voice shouted from down the hall. Karlito the Goblin recognized Gary from their captivity in the Fire Giant Forge. The other Goblins told him to shut up, he was being punished. Constantina told the Goblins it was time for them to leave the cellar. A hulking Fireblood Orc came up the stairs, brandishing an ax and a shield painted with a red hand. The Goblins turned the table on its side and huddled behind it, bows and swords at the ready. The Orc told the Guild it was them who had to leave. Cindy tried to defuse the tense situation by pretending to be a stripper, loosening her apron and telling the Orc he was under arrest... for being a sexy hunk of-

The Orc attacked before she could finish, thinking she was actually with the All-Watch.

Cindy yelled at Gary to step back, who narrowly dodged the Orc's descending ax. Cindy and Breadrick tripped and disarmed the Orc Montserrat while Gary fumbled for spell components and Constantina leaped forward amid the Goblins. Gary cast Enlarge on her and she laid about with her greatsword, warning them to stay back if they didn't want to die. Pierced by Breadrick's dagger and cut by his own ax, Montserrat went berserk and thrashed around with his knife, slicing away Cindy's protective apron before Breadrick dropped him. The Goblins got one good hit on Constantina before backing off, fleeing the fight when their leader went down.

Karlito rushed out of the "cell" where he was being punished, stepping easily through the bars, and began chest compressions on Montserrat. His tiny hands only forced more blood out of the Orc's wounds. Cindy pushed him aside and used her alchemic knowledge to stabilize the dying berserker, filling a vial with his blood in the process. The Guild lifted his coin purse and a decorative silver mazer abandoned when the Goblins flipped the table.

Happy to see his friend again, and that his leader hadn't died, Karlito filled the Guild in: there were six Orcs downstairs, eating and drinking and helping themselves to a trio of hookers who had come down to earn some of the money the Orcs had stolen from the Giant Conclave, which connected to the basement on the third level. Then Karlito slowly dragged the Orc up the stairs to the surface while the Guild planned their next move.

The third level of the dungeon was the smokiest of all, probably from the fire the Orcs had lit for light and warmth. Their drunken singing covered the Guild's approach as they crept up through a natural cave below a collapsed storm drain, pocketing a topaz ring and a mysterious key in the process as the light from their candles scattered a swarm of beetles. The cave connected to a mysterious painting gallery festooned with art, where a single Orc and a Halfling hooker lay entwined on a bedroll tossed down on the hardwood floor. The Guild fell back to the second floor to camp and make preparations.

Constantina told a story about her time in the Crusades, using clouds of spores to cover her advance up a treacherous valley. Cindy made the Orc's blood into a potion of Berserk. Gary and Breadrick scouted ahead. Gary found a mysterious shaft that led deep underground, emitting faint sounds of waves. Breadrick investigated the enemy camp. There were six Earthblooded Orcs, outnumbering the Guild, and  direct contact with their bodies would corrode their weapons. They needed a plan to take the camp by subterfuge.

 

Constantina laid out all the food she brought for personal consumption and laced it with the Berserk potion. Gary did the same with some bottles of wine from the second level of the basement. Cindy loosened her bodice, ready to play the hooker and do it right this time.

The door to the camp was barred, holed at the top to let smoke from the fire out. Cindy hammered on it and, when a half-dressed Orc opened it, entered carrying the bottles. The rest of the Guild followed her in, to find five Orcs sitting around a table festooned with coins, cups and half-eaten food. A slender, bug eyed blonde hooker sat in the lap of the biggest warrior, while a second whore clad in a black tunic and hose worked beneath the table. The Orcs welcomed Cindy and Constantina, happy to see more prostitutes bearing food and drink. They evaluated Gary with a critical eye, then drunkenly announced he needed to shave his beard before they'd consider him. Breadrick stayed out of sight.

Constantina waited until the Orcs had eaten the tainted food before provoking an argument, accepting money from one warrior before flirting with another. The Berserk potion turned the resulting dispute into a fistfight, which rapidly expanded to consume the rest of the Red Claw gang. Cindy convinced the skinny hooker to leave before she got hurt by teaming up to steal the pot from the card game abandoned on the table. The guy under the table stayed under cover, uninterested in the brawl whirling around him. Gary went into the room with the mysterious statue, a bird-headed God that the Orcs had piled offerings in front of as thanks/apology for using its temple as a campsite. Gary reached for the decorated scabbard placed at the statue's feet and it vomited a pellet, thick with hair and bones and half-digested jewelry. He peeled apart the pellet to extract the treasure. One of the Orcs snuck into the room, snout comically flattened against his face after getting punched. The beard wasn't a deal breaker, he explained, he just said that to fit in with the others.

Constantina retrieved her weapon and went into the art room to steal a painting for her tomb. The Orc lying on the floor, who didn't avail himself of the tainted meal, wasn't berserk and didn't notice her. The Halfling prostitute riding him did. Constantina pretended to be a hooker but the enormous sword on her shoulder gave her away. The Orc scrambled for his weapon, Constantina shoved him over and grabbed a painting of a Knight digging a grave with a staff. She ran out through the cave system, rejoining Cindy and Breadrick at the entrance to the camp. Gary emerged a moment later, wiping his hand on an Elven burial shroud from his spell component pouch.

Three Orcs were left standing when the berserk potion wore off. They found themselves surrounded by their bruised and beaten comrades, themselves bearing wounds they didn't remember inflicting. Then the four adventurers burst into the room, brandishing weapons and demanding the Orcs vacate the basement. The Red Claw gang gathered their belongings and unconscious comrades and vacated the premises through the basement entrance of the Kick at the Clouds. Cindy harvested the numerous spilled Orc fluids from the campsite, formulating a potent brew that dissolved metal on contact.

by Constantina's player

With the Orcs chased out of the basement, the Guild returned to the surface to claim their reward. The Troll handed over the gold as agreed. What was left of the Orc Montserrat flagged them down on the way out. They gave him a good fight and if they ever wanted another dungeon brawl, they knew where to find him.

 

Breadrick engaged in petty crime, shaking people down on the street for a few gold pieces. Constantina drank up her wages. Gary went into the undercity and handed the Fire Beetle from the Fire Giant Forge over to Gadma Crowell, fulfilling his oath. Then he waded down the underground river to the Stone Garden to beg the Medusa for curse removal. He fawned over her and kissed her feet and she removed the miscast effect that rendered all his speech as text above his head. Cindy reinvigorated her failed line of artisinal liquors using substances harvested from the basement, demonstrating the potency of ORC JUICE by using it to melt metal before downing a glass.