The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna Session Eight

Five adventurers woke up in Ishizaka's blockhouse on the last day before the Tournament of the Giantess Morwenna.

• Umbrich Brisbane the Fighter
  
• Laguna Tempest the Mage
  
• Zigar Kneecapper the Thug
  
• Datura the Elf
  
• Delgal Haberkorn the Student Wizard
  

Accompanied by their hired Illusionist Cangue and the Stone Golem Slagface, the adventurers peered out of the window at the commotion from the crossroads a couple miles east. A column of Green Men from One Ear marched north toward Gorrister's keep, singing cheerful songs. They decided to wait until their mercenaries arrived before investigating this new development. They were scheduled to show up and they needed to get everyone introduced and delivered to the Dwarven outpost where the rest of the Bastards' forces were waiting.

 

Zomnocon 2 Feedback

Zomner ran an Unknown Armies jam last week. It was supposed to just go for a weekend but he got tied up before closing submissions, so we got a whole week to send entries. The word count was 2,333 and stat blocks didn't count against the total. Submitters got to choose any of the following prompts 

• Film Noir (1940s genre of film)
• Inspired by a song
• Nepotism
• Old friends
• Positive change over negative
• Something important has been stolen
• Green thumb

There were fourteen submissions to the jam.

 

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna Session Seven

 

Two new adventurers hiked up the causeway to the Lute Bastards' mountain fortress.

• Grimm Dundragon, Ranger, bonus mercenary.
• Delgal Haberkorn, student Wizard from Red Ball, arrived a day early

The Magic User Laguna Tempest teamed up with Median the Yellow to put the finishing touches on his Stone Golem, a big red chunk of animated hematite that he named Slagface. Umbrich Brisbane went under the base to earthquake-proof the foundations in case Gorrister sent his Earth Elemental in retaliation for the tower raid.

 

Looking out from their mountain fastness into the cold and rainy landscape, the Lute Bastards immediately noticed a change in the surrounding environment. The malarial swamp on the northern shore of the lake was now an ancient barrow. Laguna Tempest, Slagface the Stone Golem, Zigar Kneecapper, Datura the Elf and the two new adventurers set out to investigate.

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna Session Six

With three days to spare until the Tournament of the Giantess Morwenna, four adventurers woke up in the captured Dwarven outpost in the mountains northeast of the lake.

• The Prospective Suitor Aldrich Brisbane (polymorphed into the beast Umbrich Brisbulk)
  
• The Mage Laguna Tempest
• The Elf Datura
• The Thug Zigar Kneecapper

They had a job to do. Today was the last day where they could accept the Brazenkragg agents' deal and still have time to get their mercenary army together before the tournament. They also wanted to fuck with Gorrister the Great and his tower. All of those things were on the west side of the region. They left the Giff of the Cannon's Thunder to guard the fort and set off down the hill.

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna: Mercenaries

Hopfer and Schon

If the players want to fight in the Tournament of the Giantess Morwenna but didn’t bring a retinue of troops, they’ll need to recruit an army. They can do so locally, but options are limited besides hiring people away from the other contestants. If they want more troops, they'll have to hire some outside help.

Unknown Armies: More Favorite Foods

Send in the Clowns

Andre Bones the Silent Clown: Blackberry Pie

Drew Hopkins the Circus Clown: Asparagus w Cheese

Emelio Maranzano the Wrestling Clown: Pho

Jesus Rinconsito the Sad Clown: Coq Au Vin
Speck Flehmen the Scary Clown: Baked Potato

Unknown Armies Shotgun Scenario: INSTANT LOSS

 

The z-list joshi puro promotion INSTANT LOSS Puroresu. As low as you can go in Japanese women’s professional wrestling and still be above ground. A place to see stuff the bigger promotions can’t get away with anymore. Cheap gimmicks, sleaze and disastrous fuckups. A place a woman works if she’s desperate to break into the business, or has no other options.

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna Session Five

On the opposite side of the map from the Loot Bastards, a group of Halfings and humans gathered in a hidden burrow to plan their assault on the holdings of the Giantess Morwenna.

• Ashton "the Astounding" Humblehair, Halfling Magic User
• Falfer Humblehair, Halfling Magic User
• Gwimbly the HoBroken, Crippled Human Athlete
• Jack Fatherd, Human
• Roddy Applecreek, Halfling Alchemist

Their homes had been destroyed by Morwenna, their families eaten or enslaved. Or they were just sick of watching atrocities and not doing anything. They had a mission, explained to them by the Halfling Guerrilla leader Cruick and the Deep Elf Carnamagos, agent of the Hundred Hands from the Commonwealth.

 

Morwenna was going to die on her wedding day, Jack Fatherd would make sure of that with his empowered death spell. But that wasn't enough to stop her followers committing atrocities after she was gone. They had to be cut down to size prior the main event. And the most effective way to do that was to cut off their source of scrolls. They manufactured them using a magic item in their main base, southwest of the Giantess' steading. The five guerrillas had to either steal or destroy it.

 

They worked out a plan where Carnamagos and Cruick would assault the Giantess' meatcamp after the Guerrillas took out the scroll generator, taking advantage of the confusion to wreck her demihuman abattoir and free the captives held there. Jack Fatherd handed out a couple magic items he took with him when he left the Bastards, and they set off into the forest. It was already dark, which suited everyone just fine.

The Wedding of the Giantess Morwenna Session Four

Someone banged on the door of the Bastards' room at Ishizaka's blockhouse. It was one of his security Wights, an undead Elf who told them there was a group of people here to see them. The Bastards looked out the window and saw a group of Morwenna's dragoons, towing a supply cart and reinforced by combat scribes, war dogs and Ogre doppelsoldners.

Two adventurers went down to represent the Bastards in front of the goons.

• The Prospective Suitor Aldrich Brisbane (polymorphed into the beast Umbrich Brisbulk)
  
• The Prospective Golemancer Laguna Tempest

The soldiers explained that Aldrich Brisbane or his representatives were ordered to appear before Morwenna and answer for the crimes of Jack Fatherd, against fellow tournament participants and against her forces. Failure to appear would mean expulsion from the tournament and redesignation as food for the Giantess. Umbrich and Laguna weren't intimidated. They'd accompany the soldiers to the steading. They had a crime of their own to report. They retrieved the slime covered pay-chest from the tower and climbed into the supply cart.

Monster Overhaul Test Drive: Atoll of the Shark God

A whirlpool has opened in the Atoll of Hanga, leading down to the legendary temple of the long-dead shark god. Treasure hunters salivate at the prospect of a drowned ruin to plunder. Religious authorities worry the great fish may have reawakened - a mindless hungry god that would make Mothermonster look like an HD 0 herd animal.