His Majesty The Worm - Session 6

 
Gary and Cindy Hakkapeliitta met up at Aethelbald's ranch outside the city, to get their next mission from the Unicorn the Orc brought out of the underworld. The beast knew a lot about what was going on in the undercity, and explained the situation to the Guild: The destruction of the telepathic statue sabotaged the Squids' alliance with the Giants, who realized they'd been duped when the fog of mental interference suddenly lifted. But any attack on the squids themselves would require psychic defenses, and that's what the Guild was going to get. The Demon Ruins were full of evil spirits that would trade for what they needed. The Unicorn couldn't go with them because he hated Demons. They killed his rider and he would savagely attack them on sight with no thought to the mission. He didn't feel good about sending adventurers down to do the job, but he offered to pay them real nice if they brought back enough psychic defense for everybody.

There were two ways into the Demon Ruins: a long drop down the waterfall in the Stone Garden, and the frozen doorway in the Giant Conclave. The waterfall was dangerous to traverse but not actively monitored by the monsters. The Conclave door led into the hanging palace of a particularly nasty Demon who wouldn't sell the players what they wanted. The siblings chose the Conclave entrance. Climbing down a giant rope under a waterfall was one thing, climbing up while being pursued by monsters was another entirely. Better to have a secure line of retreat than an easy way in. The Unicorn thanked them for their service, he wished he could pay them better for giving up a piece of their souls but the City would be better for it.

The dungeon entrance beneath the Kick at the Clouds was guarded by the All-Watch. Someone had tipped the goons off and now they were taxing anyone who came out of the undercity for half their coins. The Guild resolved to either find another way out or pick up a bunch of illiquid wealth that wouldn't be taxed while they were in the ruins. The cellar beneath the tavern was deserted until they reached the bottom floor, where mysterious giant webs and glowing green light from an adjacent chamber suggested they weren't alone.

Gary threw on his burial shroud and cast Invisibility before creeping forward to investigate. A pair of Cave Elves peered out of the limestone cave, one holding an enormous ball of green energy. Satisfied that nobody was going to ambush them, he tossed it into an adjacent room where it exploded. A Brain Spider scuttled out of the darkness to join them, asking if they'd found brains. The two Elves and the arthropod proceeded through the tunnel into the Giant Conclave to hunt for abandoned treasure, not spotting Cindy hiding under the table. The Guild gave them a head start before following.

 

The Giant Conclave was looted and deserted, the Giants packed everything up when they left. The sound of thunder and rushing water still echoed from the Storm Giant cave, suggesting that hadn't changed. The Guild climbed up a cyclops-sized tunnel to a scenic overlook and confirmed that while the giant had packed up all his stuff, the thunderclouds hadn't gone anywhere. The metal items on their person sparked ominously as lightning churned the ground around the pool of rainwater, suggesting they find another way through.

Disappointed that the Cloud Giantess was nowhere to be found, Gary decided to just go straight into the council chamber and introduce himself to the Elves and their spider companion. They recognized him immediately thanks to the rising fame of the Elite Underman Excavation Company. The lady elf Cribella asked if they were on a secret mission. Her brother Fovean stared at Cindy, green energy crackling off him in stiff, straight lines. The Brain Spider asked if there were any brains to eat. The Undermen explained they were going to the Demon Ruins. The Elves wanted nothing to do with it, but Cindy convinced Fovean that it would impress her. Fovean convinced his sister and the spider to accompany the Guild. The Frost Giant chamber was half-thawed, no longer chilled by the ice dragon hide on the floor. The frozen lake was now slush, letting Gary retrieve the horn of the skeletal unicorn on the lakebed using Dwimmercraft. The entrance to the Demon Ruins was likewise melted open.

 

The door led to the top level of an old Dwarf outpost hanging over the Demon Ruins. The room was a taxidermy workshop full of jars, which were full of Demons pickled in alcohol. All variations on a theme, an orb with a huge eye and a huge mouth and a bunch of eyestalks. All imperfect in some way and all dead, petrified or blasted or ripped apart or bludgeoned to death. Cindy opened a jar and snipped the eyestalks off one of the demons for alchemical purposes while the Elves stole pickling spices from the workbench. The Brain Spider plunged his chelicerae through the skull and into the brain of the dead demon, slurping the brain and a huge amount of ethanol into his primitive digestion system.

The interior stairs of the hanging fortress were watched by stone eyes carved into the walls, but someone had defaced them by cutting out the pupils. The level below had a mural of the same orb shaped demon flying over the City, blasting Elves and Men and Dwarves and Squids with its eye rays. Rusty portcullises led out to bridges high above the boiling lake below, rays of light from above illuminated crystal blue water and white sand islands. Gary spotted a colorful tent on an island covered in plant life, which he recognized from his days as a student wizard. A bouquet of colorful fireworks shot up from the tent and confirmed his suspicions. He knew this asshole. The Elves looted the most valuable of the paints littering the floor and the party continued downstairs.

The Demon depicted in the images was on the level below, carving summoning circles on the floor using its disintegration beam. Gary recognized the spirit as a Demon of Pride, a self-centered creature that craved flattery. He crawled before it and offered his services as a squid killer, destroying the monster's rivals to dungeon dominance. And once they were finished there they'd do the same thing to the Temple of Swords on the surface.

The Demon ranted and raved, telling everyone how much he hated the squids, the Temple and the other Demons of the underworld. Cindy joined in the groveling and together they convinced Pride to let them pass. It told them to go down into the ruins and buy psychic resistance from one of the other Demons, then destroy the squids - which is what they were planning on doing anyway. The Elves made appropriate gestures of submission, the drunken Spider almost fucked it up but kept it together. The Demon used its telekinesis ray to pry open the portcullis blocking the group's exit. They passed through an old Dwarf tavern and out the gatehouse into the Demon Ruins.

The hanging fortress was connected to the islands below by a long staircase. The Guild surveyed the scene below. A crumbling tower, a Gnoll village, an island bristling with blades, a mound of burning sulfur licked by blue flames and a little grove of tropical trees. A waterfall and an enormous steam cloud. Far above a piece of stone broke away from the cave ceiling, opening a new shaft of light.

The Guild and their new friends descended the staircase. Their plan was to visit all the Demons, hear their offers and make a deal with whichever one offered the best protection for the lowest cost. At the halfway point on the stairs, a blue spirit detached itself from the enormous stone hand at the opposite end of the island chain and flew toward them on evil wings. The Psychopomp demanded a bribe from the Guild, a surface world treat which would convince it to give them information instead of alerting the entire dungeon to their presence. Gary handed it a bottle of sugary red wine and the monster spilled the beans: Demons of Wrath, Gluttony, Envy and Sloth could be found in the island chain below, along with a pack of Gnolls and a human wizard from the surface: Jerboa "Jerry the Mage" Vendren. Gary's suspicions were confirmed, it was his rival from college.

The crumbling tower below the big hanging fortress was home to Envy, a covetous ape Demon. The Gnoll pack on the central island spotted the adventurers and sounded the alarm, making high pitched yipping sounds and gathering their weapons. Gary pulled out his magic prism and summoned an Illusion spell to make an even tastier looking human appear on the other side of the Gnoll island, headed toward Jerry the Mage's camp. The Gnolls ran the other way while the Guild negotiated with the evil Spirit. Envy would be happy to supply the players psychic protection, in exchange for permanently stealing abilities off their character sheets. The Adventurers had powers they weren't using, but decided to see what the other Demons wanted before committing to a deal. Envy threatened to call the Gnolls and attack them, but relented when he realized Gary was violently jealous of Jerry and planning to fuck with him on the island.

The Guild ventured across the stepping stones to the Gnoll village, where the beasts were preoccupied trying to cross over onto Jerry's island. Jerry shouted at the beasts and used a combination of fireworks and magic to keep them from crossing, and the beastmen threw spears and rocks at him in response. Fovean looted a magic bowl from the biggest yurt on the island, earning a wooden spike through the hand which Cindy treated. Gary took a Gnoll rowboat made of skin and bones to Gluttony's sulfur island while the rest of the Guild went up the sword island to talk with Wrath.

The big red Demon Wrath wanted the adventurers to accept cursed weapons that would turn everyone against them. This was unacceptable to the Guild, who relied on negotiation to avoid fighting a battle in every room. The Demon threatened to call the Gnolls over if they didn't play ball. Meanwhile, Gary burned himself badly in the boiling water as he disembarked on the sulfur island, but made it up to Gluttony's cave. The interior was decorated like a restaurant, and Gluttony offered the desired psychic immunity in exchange for eating Gary's body after he died. Gary offered to sell the Brain Spider on the deal, persuading the Demon to call of the Gnolls and foil Wrath's plan. The Gnolls withdrew to their yurts and the Guild crossed over to the forested island where Jerry and Sloth waited for them.

Jerry the mage was happy to see his old friend Gary. He explained his master plan for the Demon Ruins: he was on sabbatical to gather magical reagents for his experiments with chemical explosives, which would be the future of warfare. If he could just get the Demons and Gnolls out of the way he could harvest what he needed. Gary swallowed his pride and convinced Jerry to participate in his scheme to destroy both the squids and the Temple of Swords. It helped that Gary promised to do most of the work. Jerry packed up his tent while the Guild went to visit Sloth. The Snail Demon was confined to the edge of the island, afraid of Jerry's fistfuls of salt. The Demon offered psychic resistance in exchange for permanently slowing the Guild down, which was an extremely unappealing offer. They left before it could slowly crawl toward them and swipe with its clubs.

The Gnolls attacked them on the way back. Nine humanoid-hyenas rushed across the stone walkway, hopping across gaps over the boiling water. The pack hacked away with hand weapons and put the hurt on the Guild, but were fixed in place by Brain Spider's webs and pummeled by Fovean's energy orbs. Cindy and Gary shoved a couple down the beach and into the boiling water. Unable to advance and losing the battle of attrition, the beast-people retreated and left the Guild alone.

 

Brain Spider left the group to eat brains forever with Gluttony. The rest of the group crossed back over to Envy's tower and cut a deal with the ape. Cindy gave up her ability to learn Lore from books, while Gary gave up his ability to blast enemies with archwood wands. In exchange they got a bag of little ropes, twisted into bracelets. Each one would provide psychic immunity to one person, and there were enough for the entire Guild. The Demon grew larger as it fed on their talents, but allowed them to leave once the deal was struck. They paid the Psychopomp a bottle of cheap gin on the way back up the stairs and learned about a hidden entrance to the Cave of Squids, across the boiling sea.

 

 
Pride was ecstatic that his servants had gained immunity to the Squids and their hated psychic powers. Their next mission was to go to the Cave of Squids and destroy them once and for all. Cindy promised it would be done and the Demon allowed the adventurers to leave unhindered. The All-Watch took half the Guild's coins but most of their treasure was in recovered artifacts which weren't subject to taxation. Cindy paid Fovean for the magic bowl he took from the Gnolls, which could conjure any food the user wished for.

The Unicorn congratulated the Guild on a job well done. He was unhappy to learn about the unicorn skeleton recovered from the frozen lake, but trusted them not to do anything stupid with the horn. Rather than spend money on upkeep, the Guild spent all their money on personal pursuits. They built up Gary's tower on Hangman's Hill, adding a restaurant level over the Uber Underpub. Cindy cheated and use the magic bowl to create delicious food, letting her run the kitchen with minimal expenditure on staff and ingredients. She also married Fovean, figuring there was a good chance one or both of them would die in the final push into the Cave of Squids.