Four adventurers stood in the entry hall of the Crypt of the Vampire Voivode.
- Breadrick Bravebelly, Halfling Rogue
- Chelicera, Cave Elf Bard
- Gyrfalcon "Gary the Mage" Hakkapeliitta, Human Mage
- Candella Panthercoppered, Dwarf Fighter
Their mission, given to them by a Gnome crimelord in the Hangman's Quarter outside of town: Enter the Crypt and pluck an Avern, a special moonlight flower used in Elven monomachy. Breadrick had personal reasons to descend into the vampiric tomb, which the rest of the Elite Undermen Excavation Company agreed to help him with: he needed to find a special bottle of wine as a courtship gift.
All that remained was to choose a direction to explore first.
The entry hall had double doors leading further into the tomb, with a sigil of a green dragon encircling a seven pointed star. The walls were covered with memento mori carvings of skeletons. A heap of rubble blocked an opening to the west. Gary tasted the sand scattered in front of the doors. He heard the sound of horses galloping by on the other side. Candella pulled out his shovel and cleared the rubble. Breadrick thrust his torch into the opening.
The ossuary was full of stacked bones, past vampiric victims or dead who predated the Voivode's arrival. A couple gnawed bones on the floor bore marks that matched Giant Rat dentition. In an effort to impress Chelicera, Gary took the lead and boldly pushed into the adjoining storeroom. Breadrick took a more subtle approach but stirred up a bunch of dust and aspergillus anyway, sneezing and coughing as he searched the containers. He found a squeaky toy shaped like an Umber Hulk, a hammer and a bunch of door spikes. An evil mist filtered in through the corridor but his torch was enough to boil it off.
Gary heard rat scratching sounds behind the next door and demanded an audience with whoever was inside. A humanoid rat-creature opened the door and demanded to know his business. Gary introduced himself as a representative from House Hakkapeliitta, here to sample the Vampire's wines. The rat introduced himself as Pack Rat, majordomo of the Voivode Gannibal Dragomirov. Gary pressed the issue and managed to offend Pack Rat, who shouted at his second-in-command Ratthew to sic-em.
Ratthew panicked and turned into a Were Rat. Breadrick closed the door and spiked it while Candella held it shut. They could hear the angry Were Rat clawing at the wood as they fled into the next room. Water from an underground passage cascaded into a drain in the floor. A Fly Demon emerged from the agricultural waste heaped around the chamber. Chelicera attempted a parlay, strumming her lute to calm the creature. It pointed at her instrument and then into its acid-drooling mandibles. Chelicera didn't feel like feeding it her instrument and it attacked.
The fly sprung into action quickly, drooling acid all over Gyrfalcon's gambeson and ruining his bedroll in the process. Swooping close enough to spit was a mistake, allowing Breadrick and Candella to pin the beast to the cavern floor and hack it to death. Breadrick spiked the door to hold off the pursuing rats while Gary prepared a ruse: he tied a rope to the drain and cast an illusion spell. When the rats broke down the door, they'd see a phantom version of the adventurers climbing down the very real rope into the pit, throwing them off the trail. The real Undermen left the room before the rats arrived.
The following chamber was a pond, with glowing cattails and stepping stones over clear water. A dagger glittered in the depths. Breadrick fished it out with his grappling hook, avoiding the grasping hands of the bog bodies sunk amid the peaty soil. Chelicera's experience as an underworld fence let her identify the magic weapon as a dagger of punishment. Attacks against the wielder were guaranteed to hit, but the weapon would just as surely strike the attacker in response. Nobody was interested in getting stabbed to deal damage, so Chelicera stuck the knife in her bag and the group continued on their way.
The pond opened up into a garden, moonlit by a giant glowing blue quartz in the ceiling. Chelicera peered over the south wall into the Hippodrome. A pair of skeleton lancers on undead horses thundered past, running endlessly in a loop. In the garden, water poured out of a fountain and flowed through a little water feature into an underground channel. Across the miniature stream, a grove of sinister sunflowers gazed at the moon. Candella cut one with his ax. The plant twisted and tried to strike him with its leaves, but gave up when it contacted his helm and breastplate. He cut a second avern for personal use and gave it to Chelicera, but the flower loomed ominously toward her unprotected face. She settled for plucking a couple poisonous leaves to wield like daggers or shurikens.
The Undermen had what they needed to complete the contract, but there was still the matter of Breadrick's wine selection. The Guild consulted the map and decided to check the inner sanctum of the dungeon. They timed their rush through the Hippodrome and got inside without being run down by the undead cataphracts. The access corridor on the other side was blocked by a Wood Elf in a black and red assassin getup. Gyrfalcon decided to flirt with the Elf and make Chelicera jealous. The Elf pressed a dagger to his throat, swept it back and shaved a single hair off his beard to keep. She left for the garden and let the group pass unhindered. The adventurers waited for her to leave before stealing two paintings off the wall: one of a moonlit tower and one of a chained woman.
The Guild opened the door to the kitchen and a stream of rats poured out, scratching and biting in a mad panic as they rushed toward the center of the maze. Nobody liked that one bit, but Chelicera restored the group's confidence by passing around a bowl of Halfling weed. The kitchen had sealed bags of animal feed, rat-gnawed foodstuffs and a chimney that went up to the surface somewhere. The wine wasn't kept there, possibly to control its temperature. The next most logical place to look was the conservatory directly north. Gary opened the door and a skeleton immediately animated, playing a harp until a thrown wine bottle took its head off. The woman who threw the wine bottle, a tough looking human in armor with the same red and black pattern as the Elf, told the adventurers to leave, she was in the middle of something. Chelicera offered to play her a better tune than the skeleton, something in a different genre. The Vampire Bride agreed that she could stay. She went back to working out while Chelicera plucked a new tune. The Human, Dwarf and Halfling went into the dining room.
The dining room was lit with candles and a fire pit. The table was set with a gold candelabra and a fancy bottle of wine. A tapestry of a vampire riding a green dragon hung on the wall. A lectern and bookshelf held documents for official business and contracts. A sarcophagus occupied a commanding position in the center of the chamber. A gust of evil wind extinguished all light sources in the room except the fire.
Breadrick grabbed the bottle and the coffin opened. The Vampire Voivode Gannibal Dragomirov demanded to know what the Guild was doing in his home. Gyrfalcon pledged his love and servitude to the Vampire. The Vampire told him he'd have to shave his beard. This was intolerable to Gary. Battle was joined.
The Vampire called for his wives to join him in battle. The woman in the conservatory sprang up and rushed for the door. Chelicera grabbed her before she made it to the hall. The Vampire mesmerized Gary and forced him to cast a spell on Breadrick. Aside from forcing Gary to burn his mana this wasn't that useful, since the reagent in Gary's hand was for an Illusion spell. Gary made Breadrick's neck look extra appealing, prompting the Vampire to immediately attack him. Breadrick took a bite attack on the neck of his gambeson and grabbed a mysterious scepter out of the Vampire's coffin. Gary fumbled a pinch of lotus dust out of his bag and cast Sleep on the Vampire, slowing him down. Power from the scepter surged through Breadrick, he joined Candella in tackling the Vampire to the ground and bludgeoning him. The Vampire shouted for help again and turned into mist, filtering out of the chamber. Gary reached into his bag and pulled out his deerhide drum. He spent his last reserves of arcane power to force the Vampire back into physical form. In the conservatory, the burly Vampire Bride got sick of Chelicera blocking her movement and swung her ax at the Cave Elf. Chelicera caught the blow and countered with a jab from the sharp edge of an avern leaf.
Candella and Breadrick threw open the door and found another Vampire Bride: an elderly woman clad in red and black, wielding a broom in one hand and a black candle in the other. She was between them and the vampire, who fled out the door into the hippodrome behind them. They hacked her to bits before she could cast a spell, ignoring her attempt to surrender. Gary joined them as they rushed out onto the skeleton racetrack. They laid into the Vampire as he attempted to flee, but were ridden down by the pair of skeleton lancers, who trampled and jabbed with their lances. The Death Knights wheeled and charged again, laying into the adventurers. Breadrick and Candella reached up and unhorsed the mounted men as they passed, tossing them to the ground. The resulting two horse, two knight, one Vampire pileup gave the wounded adventurers an opportunity to retreat without being ridden down. Chelicera disengaged from her struggle with the armored Bride and fled back through the inner sanctum to meet up at the dungeon entrance.
The adventurers exited through the Silent Quarter. A group of professional mourners accosted Gary. Despite several celebratory swigs of brandy he had the presence of mind to realize they were prostitutes soliciting him for sex. He said that he was the leader of the Elite Undermen Excavation Company and they knew where to find him. The Guild's fame was burnished by the recovery of the Avern, and by Chelicera's bardic abilities. She spun the story of hacking an old woman to death and running away from a Vampire into a catchy tune about the adventurers bamboozling the evil ghoul, flirting with his ladies and stealing his treasure. They went to Hangman's Hill to turn in the contract.
The shops and apartments of Hangman's Hill sat in the shadow of an enormous stone gibbet, used by the God Kings for mass executions prior to their ouster by the Knights of the Temple Militant. The Gnome bandit Oberon Crack-His-Skull excitedly received the evil flower from the adventurers. He paid their fee and offered them a good seed in the first tournament if they wanted to compete in the upcoming Elven games. The adventurers sold one of the paintings, the magic dagger and the magic scepter they found in the dungeon, judging them more trouble than they were worth. This net them enough money for comfortable accommodations in the Red Quarter while they planned their next move.
Breadrick spent the remainder of his money drinking around the city. He had a good time but woke up with a cowbell on a collar welded around his neck, which would make stealth difficult going forward. Candella stored his money in a good Dwarven bank, ensuring his nineteen gold pieces (plus the additional five Chelicera tossed him as a tip for protecting her life) were safe. Chelicera dropped some real flow on the cherriest lute she could afford, a steel instrument that doubled as a combat ax. Gyrfalcon didn't have the cash to build a mighty wizard tower, so he went out on the street to spread the word of his mighty deeds and the dungeoneering acumen of the Elite Undermen Excavation Company.
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