Four adventurers woke up in the lakeside tavern with six days to spare before the tournament of the Giantess Morwenna.
- The Prospective Suitor Aldrich Brisbane
- The Mage Laguna Tempest
- The Elf Datura
- The Thug Zigar Kneecapper
Zigar had come to the region on unrelated business, but recognized Laguna Tempest from the adventures they shared in the Mountain of the Mad Marquis. Joining the Lute Bastards sounded like a great way to advance his own fortunes.
Aldrich threw down a thousand silver pieces and purchased the Starhelm sword from the soldier tending the bar. He couldn't use it because he was stuck with the cursed sword Bedbug, so he gave it to Datura. The sword spoke to Datura, asking what she was doing hanging out with these losers. She wasn't evil, why did she take orders from Aldrich? It wasn't actually interested in her answer, it just had one thing to explain to her: it was an anti-undead sword, if she wasn't ready to kill undead wherever she found them she needed to put it down. She said that was fine, fuck zombies and ghosts.
The gang decided to chase down the Dwarves that Houdini told them about. That meant going around the lake to the mountains. They left the bar and set off north, walking along the lakeshore.
An hour of walking got them onto a rocky beach. They stuck to the coast to avoid slowly picking their way through the adjacent forest. A thin wisp of smoke rose from a rocky island a couple miles out into the lake, studded with statues and bonsai trees. Datura spotted a group of Orcs gathering branches near the treeline, shielding their eyes from the sun as they staggered onto the beach to pick up driftwood. The Lute Bastards hid in the trees while Aldrich struck up a conversation with the group.
The Orcs immediately announced that they were with Gorrister and an attack on them was an attack on him. Aldrich tried to hire them and was rebuffed - Gorrister had a sack of bones taken from their tribe, denying them a proper burial. Aldrich's obsession with Dwarves let him recognize the similarities between the Orc's Holy Mountain religion to the Dwarven Living Mountain faith, which let him establish a rapport with the green men. The Orc wouldn't join his cause, but gave him the location and disposition of Gorrister's forces. Bug-people and Satyrs lurked west of the tower, where the Orcs were forced to make charcoal for the Brigands of All Nations. The base of the tower was home to hairy men and their horned steeds. The swamps on the north shore of the lake were full of Gorrister's Frog People. The island had a Snake Woman and a Stone Man, the villagers assumed they had treasure because they killed anyone who went to their island.
The Bastards left the Orcs in peace and continued along the lakeshore. They kept their eyes open and their feet as dry as possible in the swamp on the north shore, but the first indication they got of trouble was a giant crab scuttling out of the muck, pursued by a hunting party of frogmen. The Lute Bastards obstructed the crustacean's path, failing to dispatch it but cracking its shell with their weapons so the pursuing Bullywugs could finish it off. Two frogs quickly hauled the corpse away, worried the adventurers would steal it, while the rest discoursed with the Bastards.
The Lute Bastards knew the frogs worked for Gorrister, and quickly realized they were being pumped for information about their capabilities in battle. They moved on without giving anything away.
The north shore of the lake had a single farmhouse, looted and abandoned on first inspection. Two humans and an Orc ran out as the Bastard approached, fleeing toward the foothills of the mountain range to the northeast. A mile or two to the north, a group of soldiers besieged a temple of the Grain Goddess in the middle of a field. The Bastards got the idea to sneak up on the soldiers and hit them with a Sleep spell.
It didn't work, the soldiers spotted the approaching adventurers before they got within stabbing distance. They didn't start shooting and Aldrich was able to calm them down. They were clearly leaderless and not interested in dying against a bunch of peasants hiding in a church. They wanted to know if the adventurers were their backup. Aldrich told them they had new orders: laying siege to the Dwarf stronghold in the mountains. The soldiers were suspicious, but agreed to consolidate the Bastards' gains after they stormed the position. They left the church of the Grain Goddess in peace.
The mountains towered to the east, jagged peaks of fractured stone with sharp talus piles below. As the group hiked through the foothills below, Datura spotted a hunting blind atop one of the steeper rises and realized someone was watching the group. Using the soldiers as a blocking force, the Bastards encircled the hill and advanced up the slope.
A mage and a barbarian emerged from the grass and casually walked down the hill. The Bastards flagged them down and they introduced themselves as Cangue and Wulf, warriors of Wilusa the Lamia. The Bastards tried to negotiate for information about the Dwarf outpost, but weren't willing to give any information in return. The groups parted amicably, forbidden from fighting in the days leading up to the tournament by Morwenna's truce.
There was a trail leading up into the mountains, which made the hike easier. The trail led to a stone causeway, up the mountain to a stone bunker in the rock face. The Bastards didn't trust the approach, and spent several hours hammering pitons into the cliffside to create their own route up that skirted the bunker's line of fire. Morwenna's soldiers covered their approach and nothing attacked them during the process, though it was dark by the time they got up on top of the fortification.
Aldrich knew a thing or two about dungeon architecture. He knew that the Dwarves inside the bunker had layers of defenses. The first room would seal the explorers inside and kill them with a trap, and the Dwarves would mop up whatever was left with a combined arms assault. Without powerful magic, their options for cracking the defenses were limited. Datura pressed her ear to the stone. There was movement below. The Dwarves were listening.
Sam Wood
The Dwarves immediately recognized what they were up against. The shotgunners fired blind to avoid the Hulk's confusing gaze and fell back. The shieldmen covered their retreat. Datura fired her crossbow into the hole and hit Umbrich. Zigar and Laguna leaped into the hole and beat down Pincermace the Dwarf Cleric. With everyone out of the way except Pincermace, Candella the Dwarf hesitated. Pincermace shouted a Dwarven idiom and Candella squeezed the starter on his flamethrower, burning the Lute Bastards. Only the Clerical intervention of a couple Gods saved Zigar from instant incineration.
Umbrich's sentient sword Bedbug cast Sleep, knocking out the shotgunners and shieldmen. Zigar leaped forward and dispatched Candella with a thrust of his two-handed sword. Candella died. His eyes flickered with an internal flame. His hand ripped the cord on his flamethrower and blew it up.
Zigar came very close to dying again, saved only by one last spark of divine power. He passed out and Umbrich hauled his unconscious body out of the hole. The scattered napalm burned Umbrich as he tunneled further into the Dwarven stronghold.
There weren't any more Dwarves in the low chamber beyond the ready room. It was a living space, recently vacated, with signs of habitation by a sizeable group of human refugees. The wall was covered with murals. The escape tunnel was sealed.
Umbrich spoke Dwarven. He read the runes on the wall as he masticated the napalm-grilled Dwarf corpses to restore his life essence. The Dwarves of the fortress had established a trading post to buy agricultural products from the Commonwealth farmers in the area, paying in manufactured goods. Then a vile force of darkness had descended on the area, enslaving or devouring the colonists. The Dwarves saved as many refugees as they could and holed up in the fort. Pincermace wanted to retreat into the earth, Candella shamed him with his courage, leading bold raids on the Giantess' forces.
Umbrich burrowed through the stone sealing the escape tunnel. It led to an underground road, an ancient tunnel with a path of steel overgrown by flowing limestone. There was no telling where it went, a man could walk his whole life and never see the end. The villagers had escaped to whatever fate awaited them in the dark.
Laguna, Zigar and Datura dropped down to join Umbrich in the lower levels. There was a wealth of currency, trade goods and booze, plus a shrine to the three chief Gods of the Dwarven pantheon:
- Doubter, God of Engineering
- Hammerer, God of Justice and the Afterlife
- Living Mountain, God of the Physical World
to which the Dwarves had added a small stone idol of the Grain Goddess to comfort their human guests.
Datura didn't like the Gods sneering at her from their little shrine. She reached out to deface the altar. Her hand made contact and she was struck with a thunderbolt of contempt. The Hammerer was waiting for her in the red hot room. There'd be nothing left once he got his hands on her. Then the power vanished from the shrine and it was merely inert stone.
Morwenna's soldiers trundled into the upper level of the base, making good on their promise to consolidate the Bastards' gains. The adventurers sent them away for the night, intent on reporting their victory to Houdini personally rather than letting some dumbass grunts take the credit. Umbrich used his umber hulk burrowing powers to renovate the Dwarf stronghold - it would make a great base of operations for the group.The Bastards were woken in the middle of the night by a party of Morwenna's Dragoons, who brought their horses up the causeway after their scouts verified the entrance wasn't infested with Dwarves. The Coast Elf sergeant in charge of the squad was surprised to find the place really was secure, the adventurers has cleared it out. Umbrich was even able to hire one of them to watch the entrance, warning off intruders and reporting any comings-and-goings while the Bastards were out adventuring.
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