Thursday, May 7, 2020

Esoteric Enterprises NPC - Lester

An NPC from my favorite LISA fangame, adapted for Esoteric Enterprises. Cow Town needs people who know what to do with all this meat.

By Edvinas Kandrotas

LESTER
A flabby, broad shouldered boomer in a butcher's apron, rubber gloves and hairnet. He stinks like tomato sauce, sweat and blood. His wide, walleyed face splits into a grin around his king size cigarette as you enter the cafeteria. "Normal people!" he shouts. "I'm one of you!"
6 flesh (1 dice), 12 grit (2 dice). AC 14 (Apron and a Layer of Fat). Saves 15+. STR and CON 13
Beef Splitter (+2, d12 damage, target begins Bleeding Out on damage to Flesh)

LESTER'S CAFETERIA
Lester's Cafeteria is a single room, in an area of the underworld not occupied by a hostile faction. Maybe an Underworld Frontier, or Underground Ruins.

The room is divided in half by a counter. On one side, formica tables and plastic stools, floor tiles like a prison shower. On the other side, a kitchen and work area, where Lester cuts up, cooks and serves his meaty creations.

The cafeteria is a safe place to rest. There's a 1 in 6 chance each visit that there's someone else in the cafeteria doing the same thing. A random faction or underworld explorer. Lester doesn't tolerate fights in his establishment and reacts violently to troublemakers.

Fanart by Me

LESTER'S MEAT
It's imitation pork. Honest.

If you order it to go, Lester packages it in a hilariously inappropriate container. If the person carrying it is hit with a natural 20, or rolls a natural 1, it ruptures and spills all over them. Transferring the stuff into your own thermos negates this possibility.

Stew in a Bag - Greasy meat stew. It squirms. Would be nice if he'd at least waxed the bag. Retails for $5, fills an inventory slot, and replenishes a single point of Flesh when eaten.

Moe's Special Blend - A plastic bag of soup, rumored to be rich in protein and tomato sauce. Retails for $8, fills an inventory slot, and clogs the arteries so comprehensively that it stops you from Bleeding Out.

Nightmare Bile - A plastic cup filled with bile. Retails for $5, fills an inventory slot, and revives an unconscious victim (such as someone knocked out by a horrible wounds result). The patient wakes in a living nightmare and must make a morale check immediately, even if they're a player character.

LESTER'S BOUNTIES
Lester pays a flat $50 per Hit Die of creatures brought in as meat.

He pays more for specific carcasses, which he advertises with wanted posters in his shop. Roll on the encounter tables (pages 182 to 187) a few times to see what he wants. He pays $250 per HD for these bounties when their corpses are brought in.

If you roll a monster or animal, he's honest about cutting them up for food. If you roll a human or other sentient creature, he makes up some excuse about why these people need to die.

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