His Majesty The Worm - Session 7

Four adventurers from the Elite Underman Excavation Company showed up for the final mission:

• Aethelbald the Green, Horse Girl (and Wall the Griffin)
• Hyacinth "Cindy" Hakkapeliitta, Mad Brewer (and her new husband Fovean Blaster Caster)
• Chrysanthemum "Chris" Hakkapeliitta, Ex-Legionary
• Gyrfalcon "Gary the Mage" Hakkapeliitta, Wizard

The Unicorn explained the mission at Aethelbald's ranch outside of town. With the psychic protection they got in the Demon Ruins they could now enter the Cave of Squids and eliminate the threat to the City. Jerry the Mage had used his alchemical expertise to make a big bomb, all the Guild had to do was take it into the dungeon and drop it in the room with the jars, and the thing inside the jars. They'd recognize it from their nightmares, and when the Unicorn said that they realized they would. The dream of an enormous body, trapped in a confined space, dimly aware of the innumerable dreaming minds in the world above.

 
An assault on the Cave of Squids would provoke an immediate response from the inhabitants, who would use their psychic powers to draw in all their servitors from the City and Undercity. To that end, a team would hold the entrance to the Cave and protect the Guild's line of retreat.

• The Unicorn
• Jerboa "Jerry the Mage" De Hornachos
• Jerboa's cousin Baramundi "Barry the Mage" De Hornachos
• Jerboa's uncle Scarab "Scary the Mage" De Hornachos

The Guild chose the Cave entrance in the cellars beneath Hangman's Hill, rather than the flooded drain from the Giant Conclave. Aethelbald hefted the bomb, Cindy took the sack of spare psychic resistance rings, and they descended into the final area of the dungeon.

Clerics in Begone, FOE!

A few days ago Prismatic Wasteland put out a call for posts about about Clerics. I'm going to talk about Clerics in my personal fantasy heartbreaker Begone, FOE! I've been workshopping alternate names like Loot Bastards or Slop and Splendor but nothing has emerged as a frontrunner. This post serves as an important reminder that I should get back to work on Revision 15. 

In the Hands of Osiris - Masterpost

Ferenc Eisenhut

 

An Unknown Armies 3e double feature set during Napoleon's invasion of Egypt.

 

In the Hands of Osiris - Music Post

Lecomte de Nouy

 

Mostly recycled from prior soundscapes, but I compiled it anyway. A friend said she liked the scenario and might run it someday.

 

His Majesty The Worm - Session 6

 
Gary and Cindy Hakkapeliitta met up at Aethelbald's ranch outside the city, to get their next mission from the Unicorn the Orc brought out of the underworld. The beast knew a lot about what was going on in the undercity, and explained the situation to the Guild: The destruction of the telepathic statue sabotaged the Squids' alliance with the Giants, who realized they'd been duped when the fog of mental interference suddenly lifted. But any attack on the squids themselves would require psychic defenses, and that's what the Guild was going to get. The Demon Ruins were full of evil spirits that would trade for what they needed. The Unicorn couldn't go with them because he hated Demons. They killed his rider and he would savagely attack them on sight with no thought to the mission. He didn't feel good about sending adventurers down to do the job, but he offered to pay them real nice if they brought back enough psychic defense for everybody.

There were two ways into the Demon Ruins: a long drop down the waterfall in the Stone Garden, and the frozen doorway in the Giant Conclave. The waterfall was dangerous to traverse but not actively monitored by the monsters. The Conclave door led into the hanging palace of a particularly nasty Demon who wouldn't sell the players what they wanted. The siblings chose the Conclave entrance. Climbing down a giant rope under a waterfall was one thing, climbing up while being pursued by monsters was another entirely. Better to have a secure line of retreat than an easy way in. The Unicorn thanked them for their service, he wished he could pay them better for giving up a piece of their souls but the City would be better for it.

Unknown Armies 2025 Jamuary Jam Results

Ken Currie

A couple months ago Unknown Armies fan server user Cliomancer ran another Unknown Armies jam. It had similar rules to previous jams, with a list of prompts and a short wordcount limit.

Instant Loss - Music

 

Music post for Instant Loss, the Unknown Armies 3e shotgun scenario about professional wrestlers getting revenge on the house shooter at their z list joshi promotion.

 

Listen to the actual play here.

 

His Majesty The Worm - Session 5

Three adventurers from the Elite Underman Excavation Guild met their contact in a conference room above the Cult of Strength's physical therapy clinic in Shrine of Teeth.

• Aethelbald the Green, Orc Rogue
• Aten Hookmantled, Dwarven Beastmaster
• Sweetheart, Aten's Dungeon Worm
• Breadrick Bravebelly, Halfling Rogue

Their contact was a bald man with a perfectly regular grid of scars across his body, which he embellished with fresh cuts across the back of his arm as the Guild entered. They instantly recognized him as Dacian of the Tower, a high ranking hiero at the Temple of Swords, and thought they had walked into an ambush. Gary the Mage had caused some controversy by exposing the Church's swords-for-slaves scheme, and his anti-Temple stance had previously won him threats of hired assassination.
 

But it all worked out, because Dacian appreciated the Guild's dedication to exposing corrupt elements of the Temple. He had it on good authority that several members of the organization were victims of psychic dream sending from an unknown entity in the undercity, subtly altering their behavior in disturbing ways. The source of the emissions was a mysterious soapstone statue in the Thingstead of the Giant Conclave. If the Guild destroyed the mysterious statue, he'd pay them handsomely. The Guild decided that, as long as they were down in the dungeon, they would help Aten find another beast for his menagerie. Whatever monster they found could live at Aethelbald's ranch along with the Unicorn from the Stone Garden. There were two entrances to the Giant Conclave, one through the Fire Giant Forge and one from the cellar under Hangman's Hill.

 

Unknown Armies Playtest - The Lone and Level Sands

Elihu Vedder

1799. Following an outbreak of bubonic plague at Jaffa and a failed siege of Acre, French forces retreated from the Holy Land, endlessly harassed by Mamluks as they marched through the desert on their way back to Egypt.

Four frogs woke up in the shade of a huge pair of legs, all that remained of an ancient statue swallowed by the desert. 

• Dr D'Hubert, Savant
• Eugen, Grognard from Tolosa
• Jacques, Grognard from Bordeaux
• Louis, Grognard from Paris

They were alive and in pain from the pustules on their lymph nodes. They felt dry and desiccated and they were surrounded by blue-tinted corpses. The Armee D'Orient was nowhere in sight, tracks long erased by blowing sand. The Doctor realized that they all had the bubonic plague and had just survived an opium overdose. The Little Corporal had tried to euthanize them.

OSE Encounter Activities Test Drive: Fumigation of the Escheated Wizard Tower

After the death of the Monarch, the assets of his supporters were seized and redistributed to benefit the victims of his tyranny. The tower of the wizard Cloudkill, one of the Old King’s archmages from the College of Wands, was given to a pair of mutants who fought alongside the rebels. The retired partisans hired mercenaries to clear the “squatters” out of their dream home. The magical monsters are more than the hired guns can handle.

OSE Encounter Activities Test Drive: Shadowdance of the Lizard Corsairs

Walter Martishius

Lizard pirates sail to a secluded cove and hatch a sinister plan at an ancient temple. The local wildlife doesn’t cooperate.

Creature Cache Test Drive: Honey Trap of the Planeswalking Soulmaster

The Hanged King cynically founded numerous enclosed orders of nuns, drawn from the widows and orphans created by his endless wars, whose sole purpose in life was to be sacrificed to him and increase his magic power. The Elixir of Life religion was created as a ploy by the Tower of Pain, one of the newly founded Commonwealth’s largest religious corporations, as a ploy to absorb these directionless death cultists who no longer had anything to die for after the King was killed. It was impossible to talk that many religious fanatics into moving on with their lives, the best the Tower could do was offer them a more prosocial cause to die for.

Creature Compendium Test Drive: Volcanic Vent of the Pukwudgie Potentate

Our story takes us north of the Thousand Lakes, to the great ice sheet which covers the Cursed Mountains. These enormous spires lie frozen under vast glaciers, summits periodically exposed by magical fire events, deliberate excavation, or natural geologic activity. The melted peaks draw explorers to the extraordinarily hostile frozen wasteland in search of the ancient treasures concealed therein. As magic and science advance, so to do adventurers into the frozen north, drawing ever closer to the heart of the ice.